# The Man Rules



## Draconis (Mar 16, 2007)

We always hear "the rules" from the female side, finally, we have the guys' side of the story.

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

3. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides, let it be.

4. Crying is blackmail.

5. Ask for what you want, let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!​
6. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

7. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

8. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

9. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

10. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

11. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

12. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

13. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

14. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

15. If it itches, it will be scratched...
...We do that.​
16. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

17. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

18. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... really.

19. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.

20. You have enough clothes.

21. You have too many shoes.

22. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

Thank you for reading this, yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight...
...But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.​


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## smiddy (Apr 5, 2006)

A true classic, I love it.


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## hdtvfan0001 (Jul 28, 2004)

smiddy said:


> A true classic, I love it.


...not to mention...some of us have lived this tale....perhaps even more than once....


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## xIsamuTM (Jul 8, 2008)

I've fallen victim to the following ones:
1, 2, 5, 7, 16

Yeah, I had a problem keeping my mouth shut with my ex.


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## murry27409 (Oct 16, 2007)

Wow. Its been a while since I've seen this, but it's still funny!!


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## tcusta00 (Dec 31, 2007)

"And that's when the fight started."

:lol:


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## dave29 (Feb 18, 2007)

tcusta00 said:


> "And that's when the fight started."
> 
> :lol:


:lol::eek2::lol:


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## Nick (Apr 23, 2002)

Ooops! 

From a well-used (former) husband, two very important rules were left off the list:

1. When asked a question or to do something, just answer "Yes, Dear."

2. For everything else, a simple but remorseful sounding "I'm sorry" does nicely and will usually get you off the sofa.

:sure:


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## Prince Oz (Jan 15, 2009)

Forgot the most important one of all.

#1 = When we get home from work and we say Hey Baby, we are talking to our dog. He is the only one who is excited to see us day after day after day.


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## turey22 (Jul 30, 2007)

haha...thats a good one. dont forget that they are always right and never wrong...and just keep it that way.



Prince Oz said:


> Forgot the most important one of all.
> 
> #1 = When we get home from work and we say Hey Baby, we are talking to our dog. He is the only one who is excited to see us day after day after day.


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## djlong (Jul 8, 2002)

#11 was actually a factor in my divorce. Wife got mad if she wanted something done and I did it differently than she wanted - even if it didn't matter - like doing the dishes but I didn't "load the dishwasher right" - regardless that everything got clean. It kinda kills the incentive to want to do things around the house for her.


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## Cmnore (Sep 22, 2008)

Yep. #11 has borne a powerful impact on my current Marriage(yes, still on my first)


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