# Schedule for Republican Convention



## Bogy (Mar 23, 2002)

August 30, 2004

SCHEDULE

6:00 PM Opening Prayer, led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell
6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance
6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)
6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
6:46 PM Seminar #1 "Getting your kid a military deferment"
7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong
7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries
7:40 PM EPA Address #1: "Mercury, it's what's for dinner"
8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next
8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: "The Homos are after your children"
8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)
8:50 PM Seminar #2 "Corporations: The government of the future"
9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"
9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong
9:10 PM EPA Address #2 "Trees: The real cause of forest fires"
9:30 PM Break for secret meetings
10:00 PM Second prayer, led by Cal Thomas
10:15 PM Lecture by Carl Rove: "Doublespeak made easy"
10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration of how to squint and talk macho
10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights" stare.
10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory kevlar chastity
belt
10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black republicans
10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong
10:50 PM Seminar #3 "Education: a drain on our nation's economy"
11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Piñata
11:20 PM Second Lecture by John Ashcroft: "Evolutionists: The
Dangerous new cult"
11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again.
11:35 PM Blame Clinton
11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies
11:50 PM Closing Prayer, led by Jesus Himself
12: 00 AM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary
Overlord


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## Nick (Apr 23, 2002)

What's your point?


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## Bogy (Mar 23, 2002)

Nick said:


> What's your point?


Point? This is the joke forum. Who needs a point?


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## marz (Jun 29, 2004)

EXCELLENT & Thanks :lol:


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## Nick (Apr 23, 2002)

Bogy said:


> Point? ...Who needs a point?


Oh, that's right. Excuse me, I forgot. You never make points, do you? Is it because you don't have any?


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## Bogy (Mar 23, 2002)

Nick, lighten up. With all the anti Kerry/anti Democrat "jokes" posted here, what's your problem? Don't tell me your skin is THAT thin.


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## MikeSoltis (Aug 1, 2003)

> 10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black republicans
> 10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong


Are you sure it will take that long?


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## Nick (Apr 23, 2002)

Bogy said:


> Nick, lighten up. With all the anti Kerry/anti Democrat "jokes" posted here, what's your problem? Don't tell me your skin is THAT thin.


 Gotcha! 

Bogy, I've been _ragging_ you all along. I'm surprised you fell for it so easily. :hurah: :lol: 

You should have seen the stuff I wrote that I didn't post. It was enough to bring tears to Ted Kennedy, but I decided it was too good to waste on liberals. :grin:

Have a nice day, Sir!


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## Steve Mehs (Mar 21, 2002)

> 11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Piñata


I want one! I have a nice steel baesball bat collecting dust that I could put to use


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