# People Who Should be Shot (or Force Choked, at least)



## Lord Vader

Now *THIS *thread ought to be a sticky! 

_Note: This is meant as a venting thread, nothing more. Please don't take seriously the admonition to go out and shoot somebody._ 

In the spirit of the holiday season, I've got a list--just like Santa--of people who should be shot or Force choked, at least. I'm guessing this will be an ongoing process, as I add to the list of people whom I believe should be shot. Feel free to chime in with your own candidates.

So, my candidates include, but are not limited to...

First, people who are going to whine or complain about this thread. It's in this section for a reason! Loosen up those panties and vent. After all, it's the holiday season. What better time than to want to shoot the following people? 
People who don't turn on their turn signal until they start to turn, leaving you guessing, stuck behind their vehicle when they decide at the last minute to turn.
People who drive like turtles in the left (fast) lane. GET YOUR ASS OUT OF MY WAY, DAMMIT! 

People who cannot figure out that "loose" means not tight and does not mean to not win. THAT would be "lose."
People who are getting into their cars and their damn car alarm goes off, and THE IDIOTS TAKE 10 MINUTES TO TURN IT OFF! Hello?!? Just what the hell is your alarm doing ON when you're getting into your car, you idiot?!?
Speaking of alarms--people whose car alarms go off at 3 o'clock in the morning, for no reason at all! 

People who believe Saturday morning at 6:00 a.m. is a great time to mow their lawn or rev up their snowblower.

People who park in handicapped spots but who are in no way handicapped. Sorry. If I can be tempted to do this but NEVER go through with it--I just feel it's wrong--then other non-handicapped folks shouldn't do it either.
Speaking of this--any business that has a gazillion handicapped spots and they're never used--well, the business owner should be shot. Just why do you have 200 parking spaces but 100 of them are handicapped? Sheesh!
People who refuse to turn left on a green arrow because, for some dumbass reason, it's against their religion to turn left on anything BUT an actual full green light.

_You notice a lot of these are related to driving, huh?







_
People who bring their screaming babies onto a flight. Lock the little bastards into the overhead compartment or throw them out the window. I don't care. Just keep them away from me. I'm locked into a frickin' aluminum tube at 35,000 feet. I do NOT want to hear your uncontrollable brat screaming his/her stupid head off.
People who post on message boards with no knowledge of what a run-on sentence is. Please, familiarize yourself with a *period* and use it.
People who take their cell phones into church. They should also be condemned to Hell by the Almighty. There is one place where I never, under any circumstances, take my cell phone, and that's church.
People who talk/text on their cell phones, blow through stop lights or stop signs, almost kill others, then look at you like YOU'RE the one who's the problem.
People who get those chain Emails that tell them they must forward it on to 15 other people and they will receive good news, blah, blah, blah, and if you don't, your life will become horrible. Hey! I am NOT one of your 15 people to whom you should be sending that crap. 

People who believe a yellow light means "slam on those brakes and don't go through the intersection, so the guy behind you can smash into you." Hey! Yellow does NOT mean you have to stop if you're ALREADY THROUGH THE INTERSECTION, YOU MORON! Yellow means "hurry up and get through, I'm changing to red." (Doesn't it?







)
People who say Season's Greetings because they think it's the politically correct way of not offending someone. Hey! It's *Christ*mas! Get over it! Oh, and Merry Christmas anyway. 
People who send out Christmas cards and just HAVE to include those dumbass, boring family biographies in them.







Hey! I don't WANT to read what your stupid family's been doing. I can give a rat's ass that Uncle Joe was admitted to the hospital over Thanksgiving. I don't care if little Susie won the Easter ballet. Who the hell cares if Timmy's team won the city football championship? Go bore someone else with your dysfunctional family's tales of life. *I. Don't. Care.*
People who give fruitcakes as any form of a gift. Fruitcakes are bad. They're awful. They're dangerous. Plus, there are only 10 fruitcakes in this country, and they all come around every year. I don't want these disgusting 40-lb. hunks of crap!
People who don't know how to properly use a check when paying at the checkout lane. If people are going to write a check, have the date and payee all done. Then all you have to do is fill in the amount and sign the check when you get into line. THE CHECKOUT LANE IS NO TIME TO BALANCE YOUR CHECKBOOK!!! Besides, get with the 21st Century. Writing checks at a store is just SO passe now. Try cash, a credit card, or better yet--an ATM/debit card. Same result, much easier and quicker, the latter word being the important one.

On  a related note, people who go through the "12 Items or Less" Express Lane with 20 items should be shot. I can see having a few items over, but if you've got a LOT more than what the sign says, and you still go through that lane, you should be shot.
People who just don't know how to use those self-checkout lanes. First of all, they're not for people who have a cartload or more of stuff. You can get through a lane much faster if you go through a manned one, where someone will scan your items much more quickly, and another will bag it much more efficiently. Second, if you use these self-checkout lanes, you don't scan one item, stop, look at the screen, and stand there like a dumbass reading a novel on the screen before scanning the next item.
When we all get onto an expressway via the entrance ramp, there's an extension of it that runs a bit until it merges completely with the regular lanes. I believe this is called the _*acceleration*_ lane, if my driver's ed. days were correct. So, people who get onto the entrance ramp then hit the brakes waiting for an opening in traffic should be shot. Huh? Hey, you morons! That lane is for you to SPEED up and hit the flow of traffic so you merge more safely. Stop hitting the brakes and causing me to almost slam into your dumbass rear end!
People who wait until the very last minute to merge when their lane is closing, even though the signs warned them of this 2 miles back! Then they try to ram in all the way at the end, flipping you off if you don't let their stupid asses in.
The people who design restrooms on airplanes. I'm 6' 2" tall. How the hell can I be expected to hit the target when I try to take a leak standing up inside an area smaller than a frickin' phone booth? I'm forced to aim straight down and I end up giving my shoes a shower. And if I try to aim a little ahead, I've just peed all over the entire bathroom behind the seat. And sitting down? Yeah, like that's possible when there's like a half-inch of room for my knees. Last time I did that, I ended up popping the door open and gave a show to the rest of the passengers. Ain't doing THAT again!
People who treat their children badly in public. I don't have kids, but I have two nieces and a nephew, and I've taught in high school and middle school. I'd never tell a parent how to raise his/her child, but that doesn't mean you get to beat the crap out of your kid in public! 

A person who's on a diet, hosts a party, and serves food and drinks as if everyone else is on the same frickin' diet. What the hell is that? Just because you have to drop a few pounds off your fat ass doesn't mean I have to drink those god-awful herbal teas and eat alfalfa sprouts all night. You want to eat nothing but low-carb foods? Fine. Then don't invite anyone else over to partake in your same dietary habits. Hey! It's the holiday season. Just who the hell is counting every damn calorie and carb anyway? Sheesh!
People who bring their cell phones into a movie theater and think "silencing" your phone means they can still text or Email during the movie. I get to turn around or reach over, grab your phone, and smash it into a billion pieces, you ignoramus.
People who walk around with a blue tooth device in their ears and continue their conversation everywhere! Ugh! I don't want to hear about your syphilitic sister or Uncle Bob's colon cancer while I'm shopping or waiting in line somewhere. Finish your damn conversation outside or in your car. 

People who have 6" of snow on their car and brush off only their windows! Hey, you morons! Brush it off your roof, hood, and trunk, because I don't particularly like driving behind what amounts to a blowing snowdrift on 4 wheels. And just how the hell can you even SEE when a half-foot of snow is covering your headlights, you frickin' dumbass?!? Sheesh!
Chicago (or any other winter climate area) news reporters who repeatedly break in with "Storm Watch" updates just because we got our first snow of the entire winter, and what did it amount to? Wow. A staggering 6" or so.







Hey! Guess what, you morons? It's frickin' January in Chicago! It's going to be cold. It's going to snow. Just how the hell is this so urgent, huh? Screw the "storm watch" if it's not some major blizzard. Even the National Weather Service isn't saying "Winter Storm Watch or Warning," so why make a big deal of it? Now, if we get 6" of snow in *July*, break in with _that_. *That's* newsworthy.
ESPN's Chris Berman. 'Nuff said. 
People who gnaw away at their fingernailsin public, and I don't mean just the brief, annoying nibble. I'm talking about the full-blown chomping down on their nails. Would you like some ketchup on those things?


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## hilmar2k

I'll add people that call the "12 Items or Fewer" lane the "12 Items or Less" lane.


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## Herdfan

Can I add people who make good posts but put them in Size 2 type so I can't read them. :lol:

Agree 100% on 95% of them!


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## spartanstew

I'll add "anyone who's life is so dull, that they actually took the time to read the first post"


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## Nick

Herdfan said:


> Can I add people who make good posts but put them in Size 2 type so I can't read them.


Two words: [Ctl] [+]


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## Herdfan

Nick said:


> Two words: [Ctl] [+]


Actually, I have a Mac, so its







+


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## Lord Vader

hilmar2k said:


> I'll add people that call the "12 Items or Fewer" lane the "12 Items or Less" lane.


I agree with you; I just quoted the signs, which, as you all know, improperly say "12 items or less."



Herdfan said:


> Can I add people who make good posts but put them in Size 2 type so I can't read them. :lol:
> 
> Agree 100% on 95% of them!


I don't know why it came out that way, but I went and changed it. See if that helps.


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## Lord Vader

Stores who open for "Black Friday" on Thanksgiving, thereby screwing up family time on the holiday.
People who camp out at stores for Black Friday deals.


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## texasmoose

Peeps who think their 401k's are bank accounts!

I see it over & over again where peeps rape their 401ks doing "Hardship" withdrawals. You do realize that you're penalized 10% of the gross distribution right?!?!? This lady took over 20 hardship w/d's over the last 5 years or so! Why even bother contributing to your 401k?!? Her penalties alone equated to over $10k! Additionally, the withdrawals are considered taxable income, of which you have to pay the regular taxes to the IRS & State that you reside in(not applicable to residents of Texas, Florida, Washington and a few others, see link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/State_income_tax)

If you have a 401k leave it alone, do NOT do withdrawals until you retire. If you leave your employer roll it over(tax-deferred) to your new employer's 401k, if they don't have one or you're not yet eligible, most plans will let you keep your $$ in the 401k, even though you're no longer actively employed. And if not, set up an IRA with your bank or the same provider as your 401k and roll it in to that tax-deferred.

Some peeps also do "Loans" against their own $$ in their 401ks, don't do it! You do realize that apart from the 1 time set-up fee & possible quarterly maintenance fees that your employer is using "After-Tax" $$ to pay your loan back. And later in life when you're retired you're going to pay taxes all over again on the $$ you borrowed. (doesn't apply to folks who contribute in an "After-Tax" fashion, this pertains to peeps that contribute "Pre-Tax", which is the majority)

And don't panic if the market starts tanking, leave your $$ or investments alone. You might have bought those shares @ a higher price when the market was doing well, why liquidate them @ a lower share price. If your time horizon is long(date @ which u retire) don't worry about the volatility of the markets. It's like a roller coaster, u don't get off mid-stream, it's a long drop if u do, wait till u get back to the loading area where it's safe..............


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## texasmoose

Lord Vader said:


> People who camp out at stores for Black Friday deals.


Stores who allow peeps to camp out.

Allegedly, BB is handing out wristbands or tickets, 2 hours b4 the doors open. Regardless if one camped out a day or two, or just showed up as the bands/tix are being passed out, each has an equal chance of getting a "Doorbuster" deal.

I remember, as a teenager, waiting to score Van Halen or Zeppelin tickets and waiting a few days to get 'em, because i had nothing better to do. Many years later most of these ticket vendors would do the same thing and pass out 'random' wrist bands / tickets 2 hours b4 opening and everyone had an equal shot @ getting the first row center seat regardless of the time waiting in line.......


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## Herdfan

Lord Vader said:


> I agree with you; I just quoted the signs, which, as you all know, improperly say "12 items or less."


I think that store like WalMart could fix this problem by programming their registers to only accept 12 items plus any item beside the register.

My MIL will make comments to the person with more than the allowed numebr of items. I can't wait until I'm old enough to get away with making curmudgeon type comments. 



> I don't know why it came out that way, but I went and changed it. See if that helps.


Much better.


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## Lord Vader

Fat people who order 2 Big Macs, a large fry, an apple pie, and a diet Coke! (or anything similar to this at fast food joints)

Really, now. A diet Coke with a value meal is one thing, but if you're going to pig out on half the menu, what the heck is a DIET soft drink going to do? I'm not skinny myself, but I'm sure not going to consume 3000 calories in one mean and feel like saving an additional 100 in the drink is going to matter.


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## billsharpe

Lord Vader said:


> Fat people who order 2 Big Macs, a large fry, an apple pie, and a diet Coke! (or anything similar to this at fast food joints)
> 
> Really, now. A diet Coke with a value meal is one thing, but if you're going to pig out on half the menu, what the heck is a DIET soft drink going to do? I'm not skinny myself, but I'm sure not going to consume 3000 calories in one mean and feel like saving an additional 100 in the drink is going to matter.


I order strawberry milk shakes with my Mac meals... Fortunately I do this less than once a month.


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## Lord Vader

The "diet conscious" fat person would have the Big Mac meal, super size it, get the strawberry shake, and add a diet Coke to that.


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## Davenlr

But would that make them a "loyal customer" of McDonald's?


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## billsharpe

My wife made 12 fruitcakes last week for her upcoming Christmas boutique. There will be a total of 72 fruitcakes in the sale and based on past years they will all be sold.

I'm with you, though. I don't eat them...


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## Lord Vader

Fruit cakes? Uh oh. Lock and load!


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## RobertE

People who think they are more important than they really are.
People who live in some fantasy world by acting like a fictional character far more than what could be considered "normal".
People who can not seperate fantasy from reality.
Hypocrites.


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## Lord Vader

People who have absolutely NO sense of humor and are just grumpy curmudgeons who bitterly complain about others having a little fun. :thats:


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## Scott Kocourek

Let's not make these posts personal or direct them at anyone. 

Please keep it fun.


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## Lord Vader

I agree! This thread already has one cranky bastard--me. We don't need any more.


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## Laxguy

Herdfan said:


> Can I add people who make good posts but put them in Size 2 type so I can't read them. :lol:
> 
> Agree 100% on 95% of them!


Some browsers have easy keyboard commands to make the font larger!


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## Drucifer

Lord Vader said:


> Now *THIS *thread ought to be a sticky!
> 
> _Note: This is meant as a venting thread, nothing more. Please don't take seriously the admonition to go out and shoot somebody._. . .


My vent.

People who have no idea how to properly edit a copy and paste post shouldn't make vent threads.


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## Laxguy

hilmar2k said:


> I'll add people that call the "12 Items or Fewer" lane the "12 Items or Less" lane.


Yeah, especially if they enter said line just in front of you with 18 items (or *greater*  ) -More or less!


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## Laxguy

People who post about their local weather, gas prices or local programming without indicating where in the world they live.


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## Davenlr

Laxguy said:


> People who post about their local weather, gas prices or local programming without indicating where in the world they live.


Would that include people who list their location as "world" or "USA"? Paranoia?


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## Drucifer

Laxguy said:


> Yeah, especially if they enter said line just in front of you with 18 items (or *greater*  ) -More or less!


My only shopping line argument occurred because I went to purchase 20 of one item. The cashier insisted I stand on the regular line. The manager came by and stated the same. I walked out.


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## Laxguy

Davenlr said:


> Would that include people who list their location as "world" or "USA"? Paranoia?


Not necessarily! Some do it to be amusing, some for novelty, others for theme consistency. Certainly some due to neglect, or just not giving a r.a. or some are saying "f.y" to filling out forms. ....Nevertheless, I'd love to see a reasonable proximity of location for those that do give a r.a..... 
So, folks, please do! It takes 48 seconds.


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## Laxguy

Drucifer said:


> My only shopping line argument occurred because I went to purchase 20 of one item. The cashier insisted I stand on the regular line. The manager came by and stated the same. I walked out.


I would have, too. That's nutso. Of course, the check stand person may have rung each one up separately instead of one item x 20..... D'Oh!


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## Davenlr

Laxguy said:


> I would have, too. That's nutso. Of course, the check stand person may have rung each one up separately instead of one item x 20..... D'Oh!


Asked the checkout at my Kroger why she rang up all 20 cans of cat food separately rather than just hitting 20 and scanning one can, and she said they dont allow them to do that anymore, because most items have anti-theft tags and if they arent scanned, they set off the alarm when you go out the door... Who knows. I never took a can apart to check, but sounded reasonable.


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## Lord Vader

Drucifer said:


> My vent.
> 
> People who have no idea how to properly edit a copy and paste post shouldn't make vent threads.


Hey! That better not be directed at ME!


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## Lord Vader

Laxguy said:


> Not necessarily! Some do it to be amusing, some for novelty, others for theme consistency. Certainly some due to neglect, or just not giving a r.a. or some are saying "f.y" to filling out forms. ....Nevertheless, I'd love to see a reasonable proximity of location for those that do give a r.a.....
> So, folks, please do! It takes 48 seconds.


You mean "Galactic Empire" isn't good enough? :lol:


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## scooper

+1 on the idiots on their phones in public - especially while driving ! When I'm riding a motorcycle I especially watch out for these...


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## P Smith

Drivers who cut you from behind , take your lane at front of you, when no cars after you.

Drivers who changing lines w/out signals.
Drivers who starting from a curve w/out signal when you just come to steady speed.
Drivers who doing double parallel parking with emergency flashing lights when there is free space in less then 20 yards distance.

Bicyclists on expressways (45-50 mph) who steady rolling on the white lane. Kamikaze !

Seen that maneuver ("hook") by bicyclists, but NOT by TRACKS at from of me! They doing rush right turn on red light, crossing that street and coming back to straight directions.


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## Lord Vader

Seems like a lot of driving-related things get to us.


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## P Smith

Those pompous drivers, who are driving in left lane and start braking long before intersection with red light, then very SLOW with LONG gap approaching other cars - preventing other cars take left turn lane when there is green arrow ! Bastards !

Ppl who are making stup$^$%# excuse when posts - "I did read and search and got nothing - GIVE me... the answer" or better - "I didn't read the LONG thread, so answer to me SIMPLEST thing !"

Make a law - each SUV or a [mini]van, a track (with tall back part) must have HDTV screen on back side what should show the lane ahead. Or force them stay in right lane all the time ! (the driver comfortably see forward, but behind him cars like driving to a wall).


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## Nick

Davenlr said:


> Asked the checkout at my Kroger why she rang up all 20 cans of cat food separately rather than just hitting 20 and scanning one can, and she said they dont allow them to do that anymore, because most items have anti-theft tags and if they arent scanned, they set off the alarm when you go out the door... Who knows. I never took a can apart to check, but sounded reasonable.


Cat food with security tags? What'll they think of next?!?!


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## MysteryMan

Nick said:


> Cat food with security tags? What'll they think of next?!?!


Kitty Litter with security tags.


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## Nick

MysteryMan said:


> Kitty Litter with security tags.


Kitty Litter was a talk show call-in personality on the Ludlow Porch show on WSB radio in ATL back in the 1970s. She and Luddy were the self-appointed 'grand marshals' for the "Annual Downtown Tucker Flip-Flop Parade".

I don't know if Kitty Litter ever wore security tags or not. :whatdidid


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## dmspen

Another one...

People who give online bad reviews to products because THEY don't understand how to use them or don't read the specs.

I was recently looking for another Panny BD player. There were many bad reviews on Amazon for the specific mode I was looking at. After reading them, ALL complained that the unit was not wireless. HELLO!:nono2: It's NOT a wireless connected BD player. It says so in the description!
*BANG*


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## Drucifer

Well I must agree about the drivers who apply their break for no apparent reason and then put on their turn signal ten feet before the turn.

I'm also not an admirer of those who believe it is easier to back into traffic rather than back into a parking lot space.

A new 21st century peeve is the loud cell phone talker in restaurants, supermarkets, the train to work, etc..

And a personal one, as an XXLT person, I can never understand the department store logic of putting my size near the floor and the XS at my eye level in their narrow aisle displays.

Considering I'm going a little nuts this morning with this. I like to add - slow DirecTV remote response.


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## Stuart Sweet

People who jokingly advocate violence toward others on forums.


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## P Smith

Those drivers who *stay* at intersection and not turning signal in advance when then KNEW they will do left turn. They doing that while making the turn only!


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## Lord Vader

Stuart Sweet said:


> People who jokingly advocate violence toward others on forums.


:raspberry :raspberry :raspberry

People who can't lighten up and realize it's all fun to vent here, in an Internet forum, rather than to do this physically.


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## Stuart Sweet

Oh, I thought my comment was all in fun.


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## Lord Vader

!rolling !rolling !rolling !rolling !rolling !rolling


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## Drucifer

Forum sarcasm seldom works.


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## TBoneit

Lord Vader said:


> Fruit cakes? Uh oh. Lock and load!


I happen to like a good fruit cake. Notice I said good.

I think this is the one I'm thinking about.
http://www.claxtonfruitcake.com/products.php


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## Stuart Sweet

Drucifer said:


> Forum sarcasm seldom works.


I suppose that depends how well you execute it


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## Scott Kocourek

Stuart Sweet said:


> I suppose that depends how well you *execute* it


Now that's funny. :lol:


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## P Smith

People, who know they are posting off-topic, but making new posts that way again and again !


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## Lord Vader

Drucifer said:


> Forum sarcasm seldom works.


I'll go one step farther--Email, texting, IMing--they're all dangerous when trying to convey sarcasm, facetiousness, etc. That's why I hate electronic communication as the primary means of conversing. A few friends of mine simply won't pick up the phone and talk. At all. With them, everything must be done via texting, Emailing, or IMing, and usually in that order. Of course, more than once I've been yelled at because they took a sarcastic or facetious comment as an insult. Had we been talking live, they would have instantly known certain comments were light hearted.



TBoneit said:


> I happen to like a good fruit cake. Notice I said good.


There is no such thing.


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## John Strk

Wow what a great list of rants Lord Vader. I can't stop LMAO! Could not have wrote it better myself!!!


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## Lord Vader

You're welcome. Feel free to chime in yourself. After all, it's the holiday season. Time to vent!


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## Lord Vader

People who walk briskly in front of you as you're entering a store, then when they get through the door, they stop and gawk, clogging up the entrance. (You wouldn't believe how many times crap like this happens.) I went to the grocery store the other day and some middle-age couple was in front of me. I enter the store behind them, and as soon as they're on the other side of the door, they both stop and look around, as if they've just landed on some strange planet. I couldn't move around them, so I actually said to them, "Would you mind getting out of the way? You're blocking the entrance?" They looked at me with evil eyes, as if it was my fault.
People who take a dump in a public restroom _and don't flush the toilet._ How hard is it to pull that handle or press that button, people?!? I don't want to look at your pile of stinking crap!
People who go through those EZ-Pass/I-Pass/whatever the name is in your state, automated toll lanes but come to a total or virtual stop! Don't they know those lanes are for sailing through because you don't have to stop and drop coins into a box? I almost slammed into some b*tch because of this. 
People who claim they see Jesus or the Virgin Mary in their ice cream, toast, or cereal bowls. Give me a frickin' break! It's called your mind sees what YOU want to see. Wait a minute. Quick! Someone call CNN. I just took a dump and saw Buddha in it! 
That cave man and everyone else involved in those stupid, inane Geico commercials! Enough already! They're boring, unfunny, and just plain annoying already.
People who bring those small house-sized "carry-on" luggage cases onto a plane because they're too cheap to check them and pay the fee. I don't like to pay the fees, either, but if your baggage is the size of a small house, you have no right to complain when the airline demands you have to check it.
The airline attendants who make me check MY carry-on even though some guy with one twice my size gets to bring his on board! Ugh!


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## Laxguy

Lord Vader said:


> I went to the grocery store the other day and some middle-age couple was in front of me. I enter the store behind them, and as soon as they're on the other side of the door, they both stop and look around, as if they've just landed on some strange planet. I couldn't move around them, so I actually said to them, "Would you mind getting out of the way? You're blocking the entrance?" They looked at me with evil eyes, as if it was my fault.
> << Snipped bits out >>





A simple smile and and "Excuse me, please" generally works a lot better. Yeah, I know the one saying it has nothing to be forgiven for, but it just works better all around. I know from experience! [And this doesn't stop you from saying all kinds of insults in your mind.]


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## Lord Vader

I actually did say, "Excuse me" a couple times, but they ignored me.


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## P Smith

If it happen in Europe, I would pat their back, but here ... ugh.


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## sigma1914

People who will never admit being wrong even after being proven wrong. No one's perfect.

Women who claim they're fans of a team, but don't know basics about the team or sport. Just say you're a casual fan and not that you loved the team your whole life when you can't even name 1 wide receiver...ever.

People on forums who hate a TV show, but constantly post about it in the thread about the show. (It's not bad here like at Another Varied Site.) 

Delusional Cowboys fans who swear how great the team and franchise is, when the fact that the team has 1 playoff victory in 15+ years, seems to elude them.


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## Davenlr

(Just choked, not shot... for the record): The Super Committee...for that matter, all members of CONgress.


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## Laxguy

Lord Vader said:


> I actually did say, "Excuse me" a couple times, but they ignored me.


Then that's enough provocation for the taser.....


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## Herdfan

Lord Vader said:


> People who walk briskly in front of you as you're entering a store, then when they get through the door, they stop and gawk, clogging up the entrance.





On a similar note related to driving, people who hog the left lane until you get tired of driving behind them and are able to try to pass on the left, then they speed up to try and keep you from doing so.



> People who take a dump in a public restroom _and don't flush the toilet._ How hard is it to pull that handle or press that button, people?!? I don't want to look at your pile of stinking crap!


Why is there never any paper in there? Do they just not wipe or shuffle over to a different stall?



sigma1914 said:


> People on forums who hate a TV show, but constantly post about it in the thread about the show. (It's not bad here like at Another Varied Site.)


:rolling:


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## Nick

A good, all-purpose curse suitable for most occasions is, _"May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your private parts!"_


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## Lord Vader

Laxguy said:


> Then that's enough provocation for the taser.....


Sounds good to me!


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## Draconis

Lord Vader said:


> I actually did say, "Excuse me" a couple times, but they ignored me.


That's when I loom my 6'6" frame over them and stare at their bald spot.

They tend to move rather quickly when I do that.


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## Lord Vader




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## P Smith

Draconis said:


> That's when I loom my 6'6" frame over them and stare at their bald spot.
> 
> They tend to move rather quickly when I do that.


What you will recommend for those who are 5' or so ?


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## Lord Vader

Get a step stool.


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## Drucifer

Lord Vader said:


> People who claim they see Jesus or the Virgin Mary in their ice cream, toast, or cereal bowls. Give me a frickin' break! It's called your mind sees what YOU want to see. Wait a minute. Quick! Someone call CNN. I just took a dump and saw Buddha in it!


You mean like this attachment?


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## Lord Vader

At first I thought I was seeing Tom Brady, then I panned out my field of vision and saw Jesus only because I convinced my mind.

Then I wondered if it was photo shopped.


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## Herdfan

Draconis said:


> That's when I loom my 6'6" frame over them and stare at their bald spot.
> 
> They tend to move rather quickly when I do that.


I do the same, except it is with the grill of my truck. Small cars will move over when all they can see in the rear-view mirror is GMC.


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## rsblaski

Lord Vader said:


> You're welcome. Feel free to chime in yourself. After all, it's the holiday season. Time to vent!


Yes, it's that Festivus time of year. Airing of grievances and tests of strength may commence.


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## TBoneit

Herdfan said:


> I do the same, except it is with the grill of my truck. Small cars will move over when all they can see in the rear-view mirror is GMC.


You really believe that? If they won't move for a 18 wheeler they aren't gonna move for anything.


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## spartanstew

Herdfan said:


> I do the same, except it is with the grill of my truck. Small cars will move over when all they can see in the rear-view mirror is GMC.


I won't, in fact I'm much more likely to lock up the brakes. Got a brand new car several years ago courtesy of the "big truck drivers" insurance company when he pulled that.


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## Draconis

Herdfan said:


> I do the same, except it is with the grill of my truck. Small cars will move over when all they can see in the rear-view mirror is GMC.


I did that to someone when I was driving a HEMMT once.


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## lugnutathome

spartanstew said:


> I won't, in fact I'm much more likely to lock up the brakes. Got a brand new car several years ago courtesy of the "big truck drivers" insurance company when he pulled that.


OOH a player!

I like guys whom pull that stuff. Since I'm always clear on the sides before attempting high speed "butt sniffing" its fun when they jam on the brakes because I can swerve out, brake and turn into their side. Fun to watch them swerve off toward the side of the road (ran one completely off once)

I hate the slow moving "cattle" that ride herd alongside each other and block traffic flow in all lanes.

Don "hey if I'm gonna pay for damage I might as well have fun" Bolton


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## Laxguy

lugnutathome said:


> I hate the slow moving "cattle" that ride herd alongside each other and block traffic flow in all lanes.
> 
> Don "hey if I'm gonna pay for damage I might as well have fun" Bolton


When in front, I generally give a hand signal (not the bird!) to tailgaters to back off. Not rude, but a motion that most understand, a few react favorably.

When behind, I make use of a brief lights flash, then several, then honk and light flash, then go around when right lanes are clear. (This is for slow pokes in fast lane.) In CA, the law is that cars must pull to right to allow faster traffic through. Too bad it's not taught well. Same in OR? The cattle formation would be illegal here, though who're ya' gonna call? to enforce?


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## Davenlr

Laxguy said:


> When behind, I make use of a brief lights flash, then several, then honk and light flash,


When I am in the fast lane (always going the speed limit to 5 over), and passing slower moving traffic, albeit maybe not as fast as the 20 over drivers would prefer, and someone does that to me..I wait until the honk and light flash segment before applying the brakes at a rather noticeable rate...that usually gets MY message across, and the tailgater backs off. And Don, I do it when there is a nice big 18 wheeler in the right lane, so your choice is the rear end, or the median


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## Laxguy

Davenlr said:


> When I am in the fast lane (always going the speed limit to 5 over), and passing slower moving traffic, albeit maybe not as fast as the 20 over drivers would prefer, and someone does that to me..I wait until the honk and light flash segment before applying the brakes at a rather noticeable rate...that usually gets MY message across, and the tailgater backs off. And Don, I do it when there is a nice big 18 wheeler in the right lane, so your choice is the rear end, or the median


Wow. Intense. You'd be liable to arrest in CA for that kind of nonsense.

I don't honk or flash while tailgating- because I don't tailgate.


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## Stuart Sweet

As some day it may happen that a victim must be found,
I've got a little list -- I've got a little list
Of society offenders who might well be underground,
And who never would be missed -- who never would be missed!
There's the pestilential nuisances who write for autographs -- 
All people who have flabby hands and irritating laughs -- 
All children who are up in dates, and floor you with 'em flat -- 
All persons who in shaking hands, shake hands with you like that -- 
And all third persons who on spoiling tête-á-têtes insist -- 
They'd none of 'em be missed -- they'd none of 'em be missed! 

(Chorus
He's got 'em on the list -- he's got 'em on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed -- they'll none of 'em be missed. 

(Ko-Ko
There's the banjo serenader, and the others of his race,
And the piano-organist -- I've got him on the list!
And the people who eat peppermint and puff it in your face,
They never would be missed -- they never would be missed!
Then the idiot who praises, with enthusiastic tone,
All centuries but this, and every country but his own;
And the lady from the provinces, who dresses like a guy,
And who "doesn't think she dances, but would rather like to try";
And that singular anomaly, the lady novelist -- 
I don't think she'd be missed -- I'm sure she'd not he missed! 

(Chorus
He's got her on the list -- he's got her on the list;
And I don't think she'll be missed -- I'm sure she'll not be missed! 

(Ko-Ko
And that Nisi Prius nuisance, who just now is rather rife,
The Judicial humorist -- I've got him on the list!
All funny fellows, comic men, and clowns of private life -- 
They'd none of 'em be missed -- they'd none of 'em be missed.
And apologetic statesmen of a compromising kind,
Such as -- What d'ye call him -- Thing'em-bob, and likewise -- Never-mind,
And 'St-- 'st-- 'st-- and What's-his-name, and also You-know-who -- 
The task of filling up the blanks I'd rather leave to you.
But it really doesn't matter whom you put upon the list,
For they'd none of 'em be missed -- they'd none of 'em be missed! 

(Chorus
You may put 'em on the list -- you may put 'em on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed -- they'll none of 'em be missed!


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## Davenlr

Laxguy said:


> Wow. Intense. You'd be liable to arrest in CA for that kind of nonsense.
> 
> I don't honk or flash while tailgating- because I don't tailgate.


Arrest for what, tailgating, or hitting the brakes because I saw a deer coming out of the woods and was afraid it was going to run in front of me?


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## Laxguy

Wow! Gilbert and Sullivan were amazingly far-sighted- they even foresaw the Prius! 

Monty Python also did a take on it.


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## Laxguy

As some day it may happen that a victim must be found,
I've got a little list, I've got a little list
Of society offenders who might well be underground,
And who never would be missed, they never would be missed!
There's interior designers, window dressers and that sort
Bank robbers who retire to Spain the minute they get caught
Or those who have their noses pierced or men who die their hair
Or idiots who host chat shows and disc jockeys everywhere
And customs men who fumbling through your underwear insist
They'd none of them be missed, They'd none of them be missed! 

CHORUS: He's got them on the list, He's got them on the list
And they'll none of them be missed, They'll none of them be missed.

There's the people with pretentious names like Justin, Trish and Rofle

And the gynecologist, I've got him on the list!
All muggers, joggers, buggers, floggers, people who play golf
They never would be missed, They never would be missed!
All waitresses who make you wait, accountants of all kinds
And actresses who kiss and tell and wiggle their behinds
And poncey little singers who to entertain us try
By dressing up like women and by singing far too high
And who on close observance must be either stoned or pissed
I don't think they'd be missed, I'm sure they'd not be missed! 

CHORUS: He's got them on the list, He's got them on the list
And they'll none of them be missed, They'll none of them be missed.

There's the beggars who write letters from the Inland Revenue

And the gossip columnist, I've got him on the list!
Comedians and weightlifters and opera singers too
They'd none of 'em be missed, They'd none of 'em be missed.
All traffic wardens, bankers, men who sell Venetian blinds
All people who wear silly ties, Australians of all kinds
And nasty little editors whose papers are the pits
Who fill their rags with gossip and with huge and floppy... writs
But anyway I think by now you must have got the gist
They'd none of them be missed, They'd none of them be missed!

CHORUS: You may put them on the list, You may put them on the list

And they'll none of them be missed, they'll none of them be missed!


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## lugnutathome

Davenlr said:


> When I am in the fast lane (always going the speed limit to 5 over), and passing slower moving traffic, albeit maybe not as fast as the 20 over drivers would prefer, and someone does that to me..I wait until the honk and light flash segment before applying the brakes at a rather noticeable rate...that usually gets MY message across, and the tailgater backs off. And Don, I do it when there is a nice big 18 wheeler in the right lane, so your choice is the rear end, or the median


As I said, I make sure I have maneuvering room before executing anything that might cause contact. The only time I've actually hit anybody was on purpose doing bump drafting down the front straightaway at PIR.

And in Oregon slower drivers are supposed to yield the faster lanes but there they are everywhere. Only 3 to 5 get through a green turn light too. Reaction times seem glacial.

Brake jamming unfortunately does not yield a lesson to a tailgater instead it makes a driver already irate at your slow rate of speed increase their "a'hole factor". I developed my dodge and turn in methodology in just such a moment

So I would add brake jammers to my list of persons to retire immediately if not sooner. I really do not consciously put others into that position (of having to "learn me a lesson") hence my response when they do.

Drivers in this country are far too distracted and pay way too little attention to driving....

OK this is humor thread sooo....

Guy is driving his car on a backroad going fast and crossing a bridge he gets clocked speeding and pulled over.

The cop inquires as to his hurry and the guy responds that he is in the medical profession and has to get to the hospital. So the cop asks "what kind of doctor are you?"

The man responds "I'm a rectum stretcher." "Whaa?" and the guy proceeds to describe a process of opening said orifice to a six foot span. The cop in disbelief at this point responds "so just what do you do with a six foot a'hole?"

The guy responds "hand him a radar gun and park him at the end of a bridge"

Don "sorry, its those darn voices again" Bolton


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## Herdfan

spartanstew said:


> I won't, in fact I'm much more likely to lock up the brakes.


If you've got the onions to do that at 70mph on the interstate, more power to you.


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## billsharpe

When someone is tail-gating me I find just flashing my headlights on and off gets them to back off. No need to even tap the brakes. This approach works well most of the time, but I wouldn't try it on the German autobahn...

OTOH, I try to stay out of the fast lane on the freeway as much as possible.


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## TBoneit

lugnutathome said:


> OOH a player!
> 
> I like guys whom pull that stuff. Since I'm always clear on the sides before attempting high speed "butt sniffing" its fun when they jam on the brakes because I can swerve out, brake and turn into their side. Fun to watch them swerve off toward the side of the road (ran one completely off once)
> 
> I hate the slow moving "cattle" that ride herd alongside each other and block traffic flow in all lanes.
> 
> Don "hey if I'm gonna pay for damage I might as well have fun" Bolton


The last one that tried cutting back in early to teach me a lesson had to fill out an accident report and have a chargeable accident on his record. That is one of the reasons I drive an older car. The other main reason is it is paid for and it got hit twice in the parking lot at work. Why buy new for that?

For the record I was doing the Interstate's speed limit on the on ramp getting ready to merge into traffic when Lame-O decided to pass on the right.


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## P Smith

billsharpe said:


> When someone is tail-gating me I find just flashing my headlights on and off gets them to back off. No need to even tap the brakes. This approach works well most of the time, but I wouldn't try it on the German autobahn...
> 
> OTOH, I try to stay out of the fast lane on the freeway as much as possible.


So you using flashlights pointing to a car at front of you ? What is his guilt ?
And I don't see how that dumb-ass who is tailgating you will get the generous sigh of warning ? 
Perhaps you driving backwards ?


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## Draconis

One of my biggest pet peeves, people who ask you something simple, like what is 3+2. 

You answer, and then they come back with something like, “Ok, but what is 2+3?”


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## Scott Kocourek

P Smith said:


> So you using flashlights pointing to a car at front of you ? What is his guilt ?
> And I don't see how that dumb-ass who is tailgating you will get the generous sigh of warning ?
> Perhaps you driving backwards ?


Turning the headlights on and off creates the illusion of the brake lights coming on brifly when the tail lights turn on.


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## P Smith

Scott Kocourek said:


> Turning the headlights on and off creates the illusion of the brake lights coming on brifly when the tail lights turn on.


Really ? Care to post a video of such phenomena ?


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## Scott Kocourek

Turn on your headlights, walk around to the back of the car and see the tail lights on, then go back turn off your headlights and go look and see they are off.

People see the flash of light and assume it is the brakes. No video needed.


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## P Smith

You got me !

I just went to my garage and did try that - no freaking way ! I didn't use a key, just did quick switch headlights on and off - NOTHING on back my car is lightened.


----------



## Davenlr

Then I would strongly suggest you get your tail light bulbs replaced, because they are burnt out.


----------



## P Smith

Davenlr said:


> Then I would strongly suggest you get your tail light bulbs replaced, because they are burnt out.


Huh ? You can see it through 1000s miles and closed door ?

Don't worry, my brake lamps are OK, I'm not blonde.


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## Drucifer

Scott Kocourek said:


> Turn on your headlights, walk around to the back of the car and see the tail lights on, then go back turn off your headlights and go look and see they are off.
> 
> People *see the flash of light and assume it is the brakes*. No video needed.


Only recommended for daylight driving.


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## P Smith

perhaps messing with correct terminology - brake lights and taillights ?


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## Scott Kocourek

P Smith said:


> You got me !
> 
> I just went to my garage and did try that - no freaking way ! I didn't use a key, just did quick switch headlights on and off - NOTHING on back my car is lightened.


I could have saved your life. Now if you only knew someone that could check out the wiring... Hmmm.. !rolling


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## trh

People who use their cell phone while going to the bathroom.
People who leave their shopping cart in the middle of the aisle thereby blocking the aisle so you can't go past them.
People who play their car stereos so loud it rattles your teeth and you're three lanes away from them.
Motorcyclists who weave in and out of lanes or drive between cars, usually at a high rate of speed.
Bicylists who ride in the road taking up a lane because it is their right under "share the road" laws, but then blow right through stop signs or red lights.
Smokers who hold their cigarettes out their car windows while driving. If the smoke bothers you that much that you don't even want it in your car, why do you even smoke?


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## billsharpe

P Smith said:


> So you using flashlights pointing to a car at front of you ? What is his guilt ?
> And I don't see how that dumb-ass who is tailgating you will get the generous sigh of warning ?
> Perhaps you driving backwards ?


You do know that when you flash your headlights your tail lights flash too.


----------



## billsharpe

Drucifer said:


> Only recommended for daylight driving.


Agree. If at night, I will tap the brakes lightly. Usually the night-time problem is the idiot behind me with the high beams on steady, even though he is not tail-gating.


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## P Smith

billsharpe said:


> You do know that when you flash your headlights your tail lights flash too.


I did verify - my car (if I'm flashing headlights) don't turn on taillights. Perhaps not all have same car as your. And _flashing_ isn't the same as _turn on head lights_.


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## Stuart Sweet

I'm sorry, it's obvious to me that this thread is irredeemable. I've deleted several posts and closed it. I'm both sorry and disappointed.


----------

