# If Dear Abby were a man



## John Walsh (Apr 22, 2002)

Ever wondered what it would be like if Dear Abby were a man?

Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me.

A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is
only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing -- your best
friend. Far from being an issue, this can bring you closer together. Why
not get some of your old college roommates involved too? If you are still
apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you.
If
your still not sure, then just perform oral on him and cook him a nice
meal
while you think about it.

Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.

A: Do it. Sperm can help you loose weight and gives a great glow to your
skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform
oral
sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing
to
do is to thank him by performing it twice a day. Then cook him a nice
meal.

Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.

A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The
man
is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out
chasing young single girls is a great stress relief and can foster a more
peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your
relationship
better than the man being away for a day or two (it's a great time to
clean
the house too)! Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he
returns
to his stable home. The best thing to do when he gets home is for you and
your best friend to perform oral on him. Then cook him a nice meal.

Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.

A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with
it,
do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to
videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a
birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral on him and look
him
a delicious meal.

Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.

A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity
training. Foreplay to a man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex
should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for
foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you
should -- he should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being
so
selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral on him and
cook
him a nice meal.

Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep never
giving me one.

A: I'm not sure I understand the problem? Perhaps you've forgotten how to
cook him a nice meal.


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## Nick (Apr 23, 2002)

Very funny! :lol:

Nick :smoking:
_______________________________
:soapbox: _It's 'lose', not 'loose'!_ Grrrrr :welcome:


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