# He Said, She Said...



## Nick (Apr 23, 2002)

He said . . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.

_She said . . . . You wear pants don't you?_

He said . . . . Shall we try swapping positions tonight?

_She said . . . . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa_.

He said . . . . What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?

_She said . . . . Turn sideways and look in the mirror!_

On a wall in a ladies room . . . . "My boyfriend follows me everywhere."

_Written just below . . . . "I do not." _

How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?

Both of them.

How does a man plan for the future?

_He buys two cases of beer._ 

What is the difference between men and government bonds?

_Government bonds mature_.

Why are blonde jokes so short?

_So men can remember them_.

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?

_We don't know -- it's never happened_.

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?

_A widow_.

Why are married women heavier than single women?

_Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. 
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge._

What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?

_They're married_.

Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"

_God says: "So you would love her."_

"But God," the man asks, "why did you make her so dumb?"

_God says: "So she would love you." _

If Men Vacuumed...


----------

