# Echostar XII etched to be missle, not satellite



## tedb3rd (Feb 2, 2006)

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

INGLEWOOD, COLORADO-
(Rooters) Echostar announced today that, in an effort to combat rival Direct TV's recent domination of the high definition market, the Echostar XII rocket will be loaded with a 250-pound warhead. The warhead will be launched and will make a bee-line for Direct TV's new satellite that carries most of their new and worthwhile HD channels.

President and CEO of Dish Network, Charlie Ergon stated, "We have no choice at this point. We used to have more HD channels, but now Direct TV is kicking our ass."

Ergon went on to say, "And to make matters worse, a significant portion of our HD channels are from the VOOM network. When we decided to carry those channels, we were, like, hell ya! because there really wasn't much else out there. But now, we realize we made a big mistake. Seriously, have you browsed those channels? Well, they're about 90% crap. Now, about the only thing they are doing is eating up precious bandwidth that could be used for, say, I don't know Sci-Fi and USA-HD?"

Direct TV's president could not be reached for direct comment. However, a spokesperson did return phone calls for the company and stated that their CEO was enjoying a weekend in the tropics--basking in the glory of their HD domination. The spokesperson, on behalf of the CEO of Direct TV posed this question to Charlie, "Now who's your daddy?!?" The CEO also demanded Charlie make him a sandwich.

The Echostar XII missle is set to launch in Krazbleckestan Russia in January '09. It will reach its intended target after about 3 minutes of speeds exceeding mach 4.7.


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## Earl Bonovich (Nov 15, 2005)

It will probably miss, and hit their SAT.


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## dmurphy (Sep 28, 2006)

Sad to say, but sheesh ...

http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/D/DEAD_SATELLITE?SITE=1010WINS&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT


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