# Banned from Wal-Mart



## zman977 (Nov 9, 2003)

This is why women should not take men shopping
against their will. 

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to WalMart.

Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and out.

Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - - she loved to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local WalMart.
Dear Mrs. Samsel,
Over the past six months , your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr.Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s carts when they weren’t looking.
2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, “Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away.”
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M’s on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a “CAUTION - WET FLOOR” sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he’d invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, “Why can’t you people just leave me alone?”


9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it 
as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11 October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the “Mission Impossible” theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his “Madonna look” by using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled “PICK ME! PICK ME!”

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he 
assumed a fetal position and screamed “OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!”

And last, but n ot least

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited 
awhile, then yelled very loudly, “Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here!”

Regards,
Tom Richards

Walmart Manager


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## smiddy (Apr 5, 2006)

!rolling if this is true, there's seriously a problem. If it isn't true, this is some funny stuff that I am willing to try one or two of.


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## Zepes (Dec 27, 2007)

:rolling: Good ideas


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## Brandon428 (Mar 21, 2007)

I heard this list years ago. The story isn't real but the list is a good idea. I've actually done a couple of these things a couple of years ago. Running around humming the Mission Impossible theme will get some laughs.


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## peaked (Dec 21, 2008)

Give them all the static you can. They're trying to take over the world!


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## Nick (Apr 23, 2002)

smiddy said:


> !rolling if this is true, there's seriously a problem...


I know for a fact it's true cuz I heard it from a friend of a friend who's cousin's mother works for a lawyer...


> ... If it isn't true, this is some funny stuff that I am willing to try one or two of.


Whether it's true or not, it's funny. I may have pulled a few of these myself over the years.

About eight years ago, while in a WalMart electronics dept, I was explaining in detail to a clueless young associate the difference between "component (YpBpR)" _vs_ composite, when "Bob", the dept mgr walked by, asking if there was a problem. When I told "Bob" what we were doing, he stopped and said "I'd like to know that myself." :sure:


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## dave29 (Feb 18, 2007)

Thats too funny:lol:



Nick said:


> When I told "Bob" what we were doing, he stopped and said "I'd like to know that myself." :sure:


That is also too funny, and does not surprise me a bit.


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## fluffybear (Jun 19, 2004)

I have thought about doing #1 on several occasions :grin:


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## TSR (Feb 7, 2009)

zman977 said:


> This is why women should not take men shopping
> against their will.
> 
> After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to WalMart.
> ...


Seen it before, still funny.

Best part is that I actually have been banned from Wal-mart before, hah...


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## Jimmy 440 (Nov 17, 2007)

I still can't find the antidepressants.Where are they ? "CLICK" "CLICK" <lol>


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## BubblePuppy (Nov 3, 2006)

zman977 said:


> This is why women should not take men shopping
> against their will.
> 
> After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to WalMart.
> ...


:thats:!rolling

Oh crap, I can't read my screen from the laughing tears.
Love it.


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