# Who's on First



## audiomaster (Jun 24, 2004)

You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and
Costello, and not too old to REALLY understand
computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us
who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on... 

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today,
their infamous sketch, 'Who's on First?' might have
turned out something like this: 


COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? 
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den
and I'm thinking about buying a computer. 

ABBOTT: Mac? 

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou. 

ABBOTT: Your computer? 

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.


ABBOTT : Mac? 

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou. 

ABBOTT: What about Windows? 

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here? 

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows? 

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look
at the windows? 

ABBOTT: Wallpaper. 

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer
and software. 

ABBOTT: Software for Windows? 

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I
can use to write proposals, track expenses and run
my business. What do you have? 

ABBOTT: Office. 

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend
anything? 

ABBOTT: I just did. 

COSTELLO: You just did what? 

ABBOTT: Recommend something. 

COSTELLO: You recommended something? 

ABBOTT: Yes. 

COSTELLO: For my office? 

ABBOTT: Yes 

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office? 

ABBOTT: Office. 

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office! 

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows. 

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK,
let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want
to type a proposal. What do I need? 

ABBOTT: Word. 

COSTELLO: What word? 

ABBOTT: Word in Office. 

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office. 

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows. 

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows? 

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue
'W'. 

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you
don't start with some straight answers. What about
financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track
my money with? 

ABBOTT: Money. 

COSTELLO: That's right What do you have? 

ABBOTT: Money. 

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money? 

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer. 

COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer? 

ABBOTT: Money. 

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer? 

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer?
How much? 

ABBOTT: One copy. 

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money? 

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money. 

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?


ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT! 

(A few days later) 

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? 

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off? 

ABBOTT: Click on 'START'


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## Stuart Sweet (Jun 19, 2006)

Nicely updated... good job!


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## tcusta00 (Dec 31, 2007)

"The only word in office is office."

:lol:


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## paulman182 (Aug 4, 2006)

It's actually funnier that "Who's" because that classic routine involves silly, impossible names for the baseball players.

This one could be real.


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## Nick (Apr 23, 2002)

Hilarious! :lol:

"Would you like your Office Windows with a Vista, or would you rather have Money?"


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## Draconis (Mar 16, 2007)

paulman182 said:


> It's actually funnier that "Who's" because that classic routine involves silly, impossible names for the baseball players.
> 
> This one could be real.


Agreed, that is what makes it so humorous.


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## glennb (Sep 21, 2006)

I liked your version a lot better.

The original classic one got stupid in about 2 seconds.


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