# Parents--teaching them new technology is a pain in the a--!



## Lord Vader (Sep 20, 2004)

My mother and father (69 and 70, respectively) have had very old and basic flip phones from AT&T Wireless for several years. Well, their service basically has sucked, and their monthly rates are way too much for what they have. So, my dad decided to do a major upgrade and get smart phones for him and my mom. Moreover, to save money--they're both retired--I recommended they go on my Sprint account and we get the family plan. I live 30 minutes from them and get a nice discount of 25% from Sprint, so everyone's overall costs would be less than what we currently pay. Plus, with a great promotion this week, I could get them a new HTC EVO and the Samsung EPIC at a total cost of $99 then two $50 rebates. Net cost = a credit of $1! Nice.

My mom demanded a slideout QWERTY keyboard; hence my recommending the EPIC. She didn't need the phone rooted, so I left hers as stock. I rooted my dad's EVO so his would be like mine and my sister's, whose I just also rooted. My brother in another state has a nonrooted EVO.

Well, I got the phones in Monday, worked on them yesterday (rooting, putting apps on, setting up some things for them, etc.) and today went to their house to sit them down and play Smart Phone Teacher for a day (well, for a few hours at least). As expected, things didn't go as I had hoped. My father? No big problem, because my sister can always help him since she has an EVO (she lives with them because she's a single mom, so she's there to assist him).

Well, got home about an hour ago. As I expected, it didn't go that well with my mom. She has all the patience of an ice cube in a frying pan set on high. My father is playing with his rooted EVO and seems to like it (he has always been a techie sort of guy, though he always ends up calling me for technical support--crap).

My mom just may be a lost cause. I was at their place at 1:00 p.m. I gave each of them their phones and tried to explain some basic stuff (what Android is, what these phones can do, etc.). Of course, my dad ignores me, toys around with his EVO, then just walks out and leaves to do other things. I remain with my mom to try and tell her how to do some stuff on the Epic (set up and check Emails, add contacts, make phone calls, send/receive text messages, go to the Internet, add/use apps, etc.). Of course, it didn't take her long to start *****ing about how she has "no patience for this crap." So I simply yelled at her and said, "Then learn to have some patience for a change and get into the 21st century!"

Within a couple hours, they had to leave for an early dinner engagement with her sister and brother-in-law (my aunt and uncle). Upon my parents' return, I was still at their house finishing up putting Warm2.2 on my sister's EVO and having dinner with her and her daughter, my niece.

My dad walks in and I hear him yelling at my mom, "...well, you can't get the old phone back. Learn how to use it!" They walk into the rec room and my mom tosses her phone down on the table near me *****ing, "Take this phone back. I don't want it. I don't have the patience to learn this!"

To this I retort, "You're frickin' retired. You have plenty of time to learn how to use it. You're just being lazy and not wanting to learn something new. Take the phone and the manual and go to your bedroom. Read the entire manual like you're reading a book so you can see just what the phone can and will do. When you're done, start playing around with it."

"I don't care. That won't work. I hate this touch thing. It doesn't work for me," she replies as she picks up the tossed phone and starts pressing wildly all over the screen. Of course, I have to tell her that she has to use the touch screen in a recommended manner. "You can't just go pressing anywhere on the screen to scroll around, because sometimes there's nothing to scroll or nothing to respond on the screen," I advised her.

I then reminded her that as a woman, she can't use her finger nails. She can use the slide out keyboard for that. I downloaded and installed both Iris and Vlingo for her, telling her that those apps might help do certain tasks that she otherwise would do using the touch screen or keyboard, but then she *****ed about having to learn _*those*_.

Unbelievable.









I told her that she had 14 days to decide if she wanted the phone. If not, then she'd get some basic flip phone with no Internet, no Email, no cool ring tones, and limited text messaging, among other absent, nice things.

Her biggest problem, again, is that she simply has ZERO patience (I'm not talking a little; I mean absolutely NONE). She won't listen; she won't pay attention; she assumes everything; she finishes my sentences when I try to explain things to her (it's like I'm playing a game of Mad Libs); then she *****es when she can't figure something out.

If I become anything like her, someone please--shoot me.


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## phrelin (Jan 18, 2007)

You have my full sympathy. Some people just don't have the persistence or patience.

I go through the same problems with my 51-year-old daughter who in the early days of Windows computers would just start punching keys, and she still does that. I don't understand her because she's a truck driver - big rigs, and can make them dance like ballerinas and keeps them running when they should be on the side of the road. But her phone just makes phone calls, though she was able to set up her contacts. Emails from her phone? Yeah, right....


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## Lord Vader (Sep 20, 2004)

And it's not like I'm some 20-something tech generation kid, too.

The way I look at it is if I, someone who grew up with manual then electric typewriters--no word processors, even--could learn technology, so could my parents.


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## Davenlr (Sep 16, 2006)

Then there are those like my Mom, who still uses AOL, refuses to learn anything else, has a flip phone she doesnt use, insists on having the old fashioned wall phone from AT&T, and still scrolls the DirecTv from channel 2 up, one channel at a time until she finds something she wants to watch. Has YET to use the guide, complains because she missed a good show, and I showed her how to pull that show up and find it coming on again later and how to record it, so she refused to do that, and stayed up until 3AM to watch it LIVE. I dont even try with her anymore. I do the best I can to remember the antiquated AOL interface to answer her questions, like why her email is ending up in the spam folder, why the laptop is slower than the desktop.... Dad wont even talk on a phone unless you call him, wont text...so I just got him a flip phone too.

Some people just dont WANT to get into the 21st century, and I really dont see any point in pushing them into it. If they are happy with flip phones, and the channel up button on the remote...so be it.


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## Lord Vader (Sep 20, 2004)

I do agree that no one should be forced to like something they don't like or do something they don't want to do, but if one chooses to do things in a certain, perhaps antiquated manner, then they don't have a right to ***** and complain when things don't work the way they otherwise should.


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## Nick (Apr 23, 2002)

Stop imposing your (technological) world on your parents. They have made it very plain that they are comfortable with things as they are and don't want the changes you are trying to force on them.

Leave them alone.


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## HDJulie (Aug 10, 2008)

I have a very similar situation. My mother is 68 but she at least used to be a little tech savy. She went to a smartphone when the iPhone 3G first came out. She had a few issues but overall, she had no real problems. You might give that a try since it is a pretty easy phone to use. You don't have to sync to a pc anymore -- you can sync to the cloud. Everyone in my family has an iPhone & all of us love them. My mother, like yours, has 0 patience & can be a huge PITA. But, she actually does like gadgets & the iPhone was easy enough for her to figure out that she was able to do it on her own after a day or two.

_Why did the words "iPhone 3G" get set as a hyperlink to Amazon? Is that a new thing?_


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## Lord Vader (Sep 20, 2004)

Nick said:


> Stop imposing your (technological) world on your parents. They have made it very plain that they are comfortable with things as they are and don't want the changes you are trying to force on them.
> 
> Leave them alone.


Do me a favor and stifle. My parents are the ones who asked for and proposed all this, so I'm not imposing anything.

Talk about being clueless.


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## Lord Vader (Sep 20, 2004)

HDJulie said:


> I have a very similar situation. My mother is 68 but she at least used to be a little tech savy. She went to a smartphone when the iPhone 3G first came out. She had a few issues but overall, she had no real problems. You might give that a try since it is a pretty easy phone to use. You don't have to sync to a pc anymore -- you can sync to the cloud. Everyone in my family has an iPhone & all of us love them. My mother, like yours, has 0 patience & can be a huge PITA. But, she actually does like gadgets & the iPhone was easy enough for her to figure out that she was able to do it on her own after a day or two.
> 
> _Why did the words "iPhone 3G" get set as a hyperlink to Amazon? Is that a new thing?_


That is not an option due to the iPhone's exorbitant cost and lack of a keyboard.


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## Herdfan (Mar 18, 2006)

Lord Vader said:


> When you're done, start playing around with it."
> 
> She won't listen; she won't pay attention; she assumes everything; she finishes my sentences


I guess my mom does have a sister. 

You're not alone. Got my dad and iPad a year or so ago. Put a few apps on it for him like news and weather and links to a few web pages. Show him how to use it etc. A year later, he still only will play with the Apps I specifically showed him. I ask why he doesn't just try and play around with it and he says he doesn't want to "break" it. I have told him over and over that it is an iPad and short of dropping it, you can't break it by playing with the apps. Slowly he has started using other Apps, but won't really explore them in detail.

As for my mom, doing tech support with her is a nightmare. Sounds just like your mom. I try and go through stuff step by step and ask questions and get answers to everything but what I asked. She is big into quilting and her quilt magazines always have link for free patterns from various designers. For some reason, she thinks every designer's webpage for free patterns should look exactly the same so she can download the pattern. If there is not a big "DOWNLOAD" box, she locks up and won't read or move the mouse around looking for a download link. And now she wants a laptop. :nono2:



Davenlr said:


> and still scrolls the DirecTv from channel 2 up, one channel at a time until she finds something she wants to watch.


Her other long lost sibling. 

My mom will use the guide, but once she finds what she wants to watch, she exits the guide and then enters the channel number manually. I have shown her I don't know how many time to just press Select. Nope.

And my dad won't use the pause button. Come in to talk to him while he is watching TV and he hits Mute. Then will get aggravated if he misses something. I think one day I am going to reprogram the Mute button on his MX-880 to send the Pause Command.


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## SayWhat? (Jun 7, 2009)

All I have is a flip style phone. That's all I'll ever have. I don't need no fancy-dancy high-falutin' gadgets what do teeny-bopper communicatin' in funny half wordz.


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## ncxcstud (Apr 22, 2007)

My in-laws aren't nearly as bad, but the only way I solved the problem of 'not wanting to learn new technology' was by moving away. I was called to be a pastor 14 hours away from them. Kind of forced them to learn on their own a bit. Though, when my wife and I come back for a vacation at the beginning of January I assume they'll have a small list of menial and quick things to accomplish on their computer...

My father-in-law is hilarious using his new iPod touch.... he slams/stabs his finger on the phone, thinking that the harder he presses the more sure the phone will respond. My only conclusion to why he does that is that the iPod doesn't have 'haptic feedback' so you really don't know at times if the device is registering your finger touch. Also, he forgets his stupid password all the time (of course, if he'd actually set it up himself and not rely on me to do it, he'd probably remember his password a bit more).


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## Pete K. (Apr 23, 2002)

I have had the same frustrations in trying to show my 95 year old mother-in-law how to use the Dish Network remote. Computers? Cell phones? iPods? I'm not even going to try to go down that road.


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## sigma1914 (Sep 5, 2006)

Teaching my mother how to do a simple 'copy & paste' on a PC was a 45 minute argument. Then, it still took about a year for her to understand it. Each time she'd ask, it'd be another argument. :lol:


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## HDJulie (Aug 10, 2008)

What frightens me is that I find myself starting to become frustrated with newer technology as well . I can definitely see myself being the same way as my mother in another 20 years when technology has outpaced my ability to think clearly.


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## hilmar2k (Mar 18, 2007)

My father (63) likes to think he's technologically savvy....but he can only, at best, get by. He has a BlackBerry Pearl 3G because it fits in his pocket. He can send/receive emails, add and run apps, text, etc. But if anything goes wrong, he's in trouble. Luckily my brother-in-law is a store manager for AT&T, and lives nearby (I am 3 hourse away), and can bail him out when needed.

My mother (63), on the other hand, is not quite as adept. She recently, however, just went from the old school flip phone to a iPhone 3G, and I was amazed she could even get the screen to turn on. I have to say, she has improved tremendously with it with time. She's had it since spring, and is actually somewhat proficient with it (though again, if anything goes wrong....)


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## djlong (Jul 8, 2002)

Vader: There's a trick to teaching people things. The trick to THAT is the fact that you need different tricks for different people.

I'm tech support for almost everyone in my family. Fortunately a cousin of mine married a techie so my workload has been reduced.

There are a LOT of factors going into why it seems difficult to teach an older person something new. You're probably accurate in assessing her impatience but I'd be willing to bet it runs deeper than that. she may not like the "out of control" feeling. She may not like the role-reversal of now having to take instruction from you after being the one who instructed you in your childhood. She may simply not like feeling ignorant (of the new technology).

One mistake might have been in her thinking she wanted a slide-out keyboard when what she REALLY wants (without knowing it) might have been something laid out more like a Blackberry (or my wife's old HTC Ozone) with a fixed keyboard in place and a screen above it. Finding out what they want to do with the phone or how they use it beforehand can head these issues off at the pass - but it's too late for that now.

You have my sympathies.


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## Drucifer (Feb 12, 2009)

Being a senior with tech knowledge, I have no need for a pile of costly extras that I would use once in a blue moon.

Our needs are simple. A screen and keypad we can read without putting on reading glasses.


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## dettxw (Nov 21, 2007)

My mom can't even use her flip phone. I have her contact list printed out and taped to the fridge as she is incapable of or refuses to use the phone contacts. 
She laments that no one ever calls her, but when they do she won't answer the phone.

I've given up trying to show her facebook pics of relatives/grandkids/great-grandkids on my smartphone as she is also incapable of holding it without touching the screen and navigating away from what I was trying to show her.

The audio amp has to be left on 24/7 as it is asking too much for her to turn on both the TV _and_ the amp. Surprisingly she does use the DirecTV remote, but she's also one that can't/won't use the guide. But she knows the numbers for channels like PBS & TCM & Discovery.

She's not stupid, it's just all in the want-to.


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## lparsons21 (Mar 4, 2006)

SayWhat? said:


> All I have is a flip style phone. That's all I'll ever have. I don't need no fancy-dancy high-falutin' gadgets what do teeny-bopper communicatin' in funny half wordz.


A flip phone? What are you some tech guru or something? 

I have a soap bar phone that makes and receives calls. I'm sure it will text, but I'm just as sure I'm not going to send one EVER!! :lol:

I called my daughter today to get an address and she commented that she didn't think I could do text, and she's at an office party and I heard some guffawing in the background. Of course, I had to correct her and told I could receive them, I just won't send them.


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## Stewart Vernon (Jan 7, 2005)

You know... Whether or not your mother is "lazy" is not the issue I see... You know your mom, and should know better IF this is who she is... So why on earth would you get mad at her for being who you already knew she was?

If you knew she had an aversion to new technology... Why get her a phone that you already knew would be tough to get her to adapt to using?

Sometimes the student is at fault for not learning the lesson... But often the teacher is not experienced enough as a teacher to know how to deliver that lesson OR know when a student doesn't have the prerequisites to be in the class.


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## Herdfan (Mar 18, 2006)

One nice thing about my M-I-L is that she can open an email and open an attachment. My B-I-L and I bought her a Mac Mini last year and any time she has issues or can't do something, I can just record the steps on my screen as a video and email it to her. Has really cut down on phone tech support.


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## Lord Vader (Sep 20, 2004)

djlong said:


> One mistake might have been in her thinking she wanted a slide-out keyboard when what she REALLY wants (without knowing it) might have been something laid out more like a Blackberry...


This is not something that escaped me. In fact, it's an alternative that my father, sister, and I have discussed--will a Blackberry be easier to operate than an EPIC?

Oh, BTW, one thing she said she "HAD" to have on her phone--Angry Birds. "What about Angry Birds? I want to be able to play Angry Birds on my phone!"

I don't know if this is possible on a Blackberry.


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## Karen (Oct 4, 2007)

My 95 year old mother insisted that she had to have an iPhone. We went to the AT&T store and got her one. Then, we went to Best Buy and bought a Sony clock radio that is an iPhone dock. I put a bunch of music on it for her that is from her generation and set up her contacts for her. She docks her iPhone on her clock radio every night and listens to music before she falls asleep. Her iPhone is charged and ready to go for the next day. I installed a Solitaire app on it for her and she is as happy as she can be. She even sent me a text the first night. I was in shock when I got it! <g> She said that whenever she gets bored or lonely, she picks up her iPhone and either calls someone or plays Solitaire. It's much easier for her to use than the flip phone she used to have.


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## HDJulie (Aug 10, 2008)

iPhone - so easy an old person can use it


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## billsharpe (Jan 25, 2007)

Karen said:


> My 95 year old mother insisted that she had to have an iPhone. We went to the AT&T store and got her one. Then, we went to Best Buy and bought a Sony clock radio that is an iPhone dock. I put a bunch of music on it for her that is from her generation and set up her contacts for her. She docks her iPhone on her clock radio every night and listens to music before she falls asleep. Her iPhone is charged and ready to go for the next day. I installed a Solitaire app on it for her and she is as happy as she can be. She even sent me a text the first night. I was in shock when I got it! <g> She said that whenever she gets bored or lonely, she picks up her iPhone and either calls someone or plays Solitaire. It's much easier for her to use than the flip phone she used to have.


Wow! Your mother wins the prize in this thread and YOU deserve much of the credit.


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## Lord Vader (Sep 20, 2004)

This morning my mom calls me about a half-dozen times asking questions like, "How do I answer a phone?", "How to I delete a contact? I entered one in 4 times by accident?", "How do I change a ring tone?"

I politely asked her if she read the user manual at all, because answering the phone is supposed to be among the simplest things to do. She replied, "No, I'm not going to read the manual."

When I asked her if she remembered editing a contact yesterday when I explained it to her, she replied, "No. I can't remember these things. I can't learn this."

There's little I can do if someone simply refuses to even read a manual.


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## trh (Nov 3, 2007)

Lord Vader said:


> So I simply yelled at her and said, "Then learn to have some patience for a change and get into the 21st century!"
> 
> To this I retort, "You're frickin' retired. You have plenty of time to learn how to use it. You're just being lazy and not wanting to learn something new. Take the phone and the manual and go to your bedroom. Read the entire manual like you're reading a book so you can see just what the phone can and will do.
> 
> Her biggest problem, again, is that she simply has ZERO patience (I'm not talking a little; I mean absolutely NONE).


Your dad probably made a mistake by getting something like this for your Mom. But you yelled at your elderly mother, called her lazy and then sent her to her room until she reads the manual. And you said she has zero patience? Life is to short. Enjoy your parents while they are still alive. Don't let something this trivial negatively impact your relationship with them.


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## Lord Vader (Sep 20, 2004)

I didn't "yell," per se; rather, I raised my voice a bit because she wouldn't stop *****ing and let me get a word in edge-wise. Second, I never called her lazy. I'm doing that here. I didn't "send her to her room." I suggested she take the manual, go to her room, and read it. She usually retires to her bedroom every night around 8:00 p.m. to relax and get away from the rest of the household. I simply suggested that she take the manual and go to her room and peruse the little booklet not unlike books and magazines she reads.


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## Christopher Gould (Jan 14, 2007)

Vader I suggest you learn alot more patients. When your parents get older and start to slip you are not going to be able to "raise your voice" to them. They will need patients and care.

Teaching them phones is nothing compared to dementia and the like. Aren't you suppose to be a school teacher?


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## Lord Vader (Sep 20, 2004)

Christopher Gould said:


> Vader I suggest you learn alot more patients.


I'm not a doctor; I needn't have any patients. That's not my concern.



> They will need patients


Only for camaraderie and friendship.


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## Mark Holtz (Mar 23, 2002)

Nick said:


> Stop imposing your (technological) world on your parents. They have made it very plain that they are comfortable with things as they are and don't want the changes you are trying to force on them.


Slight problem. They are liable to have passwords that are short and easy to guess. Insert words of doom here.


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## armophob (Nov 13, 2006)

Lord Vader said:


> This morning my mom calls me about a half-dozen times asking questions like, "How do I answer a phone?", "How to I delete a contact? I entered one in 4 times by accident?", "How do I change a ring tone?"
> 
> I politely asked her if she read the user manual at all, because answering the phone is supposed to be among the simplest things to do. She replied, "No, I'm not going to read the manual."
> 
> ...


I get it.
My Dad in his 60's want's to be texting and facebooking to be in contact with my sister's kids. He is always quizzing me about it, and I keep telling him I have no idea because I neither do or care about it. He gets silent and I have to explain that technology is there for those who want it, it is not required. And I do not want to participate in these parts of it, because I feel it is a passing phase of the younger generation and will soon be replaced by something else that will avoid voice contact over a phone.


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## billsharpe (Jan 25, 2007)

I've been using computers since the 1960's. But I only got a cell phone earlier this year, mainly so I can connect with my wife when I pick her up at the airport after a trip.

I have a pay as you go cell phone plan and still have about $45 left of my two $25 payments, each covering three months.

She does text with our grandson; I haven't quite figured that out yet. Our various grandsons are the real tech gurus in the family.


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## Lord Vader (Sep 20, 2004)

The kids often are the smartest when it comes to new technology.


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## Herdfan (Mar 18, 2006)

Lord Vader said:


> The kids often are the smartest when it comes to new technology.


You got that right. I think it is because they are not afraid of it. We got our daughter an iPod Nano for her 6th birthday. We were going on a vacation and thought it would be good to help her pass the time. (We chose the Nano because it had the ability for us to limit the loudness).

Anyway, we handed it to her and without ever being shown how to work it (I had already loaded some of her music on it) and within a couple of minutes she was listening to her music.

There was no fear that she would not be able to work it or was going to break it. Just grab it and go.


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## djlong (Jul 8, 2002)

Doesn't like a complicated phone but DOES want Angry Birds???

Ouch..


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## Lord Vader (Sep 20, 2004)

Yup. Makes perfect sense, doesn't it?

Today she called me to tell me she set up her voice mail and feels proud of that accomplishment. Good for her. I know the feeling when it comes to certain devices. 

"Slowly but surely--very slowly," she said to me.


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## armophob (Nov 13, 2006)

Slowly I turned… step by step… inch by inch…


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## Mark Holtz (Mar 23, 2002)

You have to love parents. When we were young, and wanted to give up on math, they told us to keep going. One of their proudest moments is watching us walk down the aisle to get our college degree. Yet, when we try to encourage them to practice safe computing habits such as "Don't use a single password on all your sites", and "Fluffy41 is NOT a secure password", they state emphatically that "You are making things complicated." Uh, hell no, I'm trying to make sure that your life savings isn't being ripped off.


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## Drucifer (Feb 12, 2009)

From a senior point of view, I use dates as PWs.

I would suggest for an old couple that still together, that the day your father proposed to your mother is a date that should not recorded anywhere, but should be easy to remember. 

E.g. 29May1988


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## lparsons21 (Mar 4, 2006)

Herdfan said:


> You got that right. I think it is because they are not afraid of it. We got our daughter an iPod Nano for her 6th birthday. We were going on a vacation and thought it would be good to help her pass the time. (We chose the Nano because it had the ability for us to limit the loudness).
> 
> Anyway, we handed it to her and without ever being shown how to work it (I had already loaded some of her music on it) and within a couple of minutes she was listening to her music.
> 
> There was no fear that she would not be able to work it or was going to break it. Just grab it and go.


Yep, it is that lack of fear that the young have.

A short story. Many years ago, Atari had a truck they would take to different places like schools, to show of the computers they were making. I had the opportunity to observe once. During the day, the kids came in, touched and tried everything and had a great time. That night the parents came in. They looked and watched the demos, but not one would touch the stuff!


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## billsharpe (Jan 25, 2007)

lparsons21 said:


> Yep, it is that lack of fear that the young have.
> 
> A short story. Many years ago, Atari had a truck they would take to different places like schools, to show of the computers they were making. I had the opportunity to observe once. During the day, the kids came in, touched and tried everything and had a great time. That night the parents came in. They looked and watched the demos, but not one would touch the stuff!


Interesting! I saw the first Macintosh computer in a Florida store in 1984. The clerks would not let anybody touch the equipment. Apparently they had just about sweated blood to get the computer to display anything.

I finally bought an iPod last year.


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## 4HiMarks (Jan 21, 2004)

My mother asked me to "clean up" her computer while I am on winter break. I told her it was probably best to upgrade it to Windows 7 (from Vista), and she responded that she uses it so seldom and wasn't going to upgrade her brain, so it probably wasn't worth it. Since she never bothered to learn even the most basic Windows "commands" (although that is making too much of them. Gestures would be better, but I'm talking about the absolute basics like resizing windows, switching between windows, and Ctrl-c, Ctrl-v, etc.) I don't see why changing from one OS she doesn't know how to use to another would make any difference.

She has a flip phone that she never uses. Half the time she can't even find it. I'm really surprised it has any charge when she does want to make a call in an emergency. When she first got it, she didn't know how to check voice mail, and when she finally did (by accident, I think) she insisted that it told her she had 400 messages and there was no way she was going to delete them manually. When I said that was impossible as our family account only supported 20, she accused me of calling her a liar. My GF and I finally figured out that she really had four "unheard" messages, and they eventually expired and deleted themselves. 

But DVRs? Facebook? Downloads? She can reply to an email, and I think she is learning how to compose them now, or at least edit subject lines. 

MY GF is not very tech-savvy either. We both finally got smart phones this summer. I got an Android (Moto Atrix 4G) and she got an iphone 3GS (refurb for $20), but she has even imported her contacts from her old flip phone. She insists only half-jokingly that she doesn't know how to watch TV in our house, although she did figure it out when she was home sick. My Mom can't even remember how to play a DVD, though.


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## Sharkie_Fan (Sep 26, 2006)

Drucifer said:


> From a senior point of view, I use dates as PWs.
> 
> *I would suggest for an old couple that still together, that the day your father proposed to your mother is a date that should not recorded anywhere, but should be easy to remember.*
> 
> E.g. 29May1988


We're not an old couple, but I couldn't tell you the day I proposed. Heck, I'm lucky if I can remember wedding anniversary and birthday.


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## The Merg (Jun 24, 2007)

Lord Vader said:


> That is not an option due to the iPhone's exorbitant cost and lack of a keyboard.


I believe you can get an iPhone 3GS 8GB from AT&T for under $50 now. Since it seems like they won't have too much on it, that size should be fine.

- Merg


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## Lord Vader (Sep 20, 2004)

Uh, we're on Sprint, not AT&T. Plus, as I said, iPhones do not have a keyboard.


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## dpeters11 (May 30, 2007)

I'm still trying to get my mother to upgrade from XP. Problem is, she doesn't like the 7 compatible versions of some of her apps and I'm not sure about XP mode.


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## Karen (Oct 4, 2007)

She can have a keyboard with an iphone 4...

http://www.amazon.com/Nuu-K1-Englis...PYIU/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1324435797&sr=8-2

http://www.amazon.com/BoxWave-Keyboard-Buddy-iPhone-Case/dp/B002959MQM/ref=pd_cp_cps_1


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## Lord Vader (Sep 20, 2004)

So she should get an iPhone for $199 or so, then add a keyboard for another $50 to $100, when she can get the Samsung Epic for $99 and already have a keyboard and a much better--and bigger--screen?

It's obvious what the better deal is.


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## phrelin (Jan 18, 2007)

dpeters11 said:


> I'm still trying to get my mother to upgrade from XP. Problem is, she doesn't like the 7 compatible versions of some of her apps and I'm not sure about XP mode.


This is a problem my wife struggles with and for good reason. Two programs she has used practically since their inception are Quicken and Family Tree Maker. Because she, like me, has been using desktop computers since 1980 beginning with the Tandy Model II, she's certainly tech savvy.

But just ask her about the features that have been taken away from these programs and you'll get a litany of complaints about loss of report flexibility. And just ask about the features added, all handy online and generally automated features, and she'll list them with a recitation of just how useless and unreliable they really are and how they frequently screw things up.

The problem is she's right. Many new features are gimmicks that attract the tech unsavvy and tie you to additional charges from the software vendors. The old features lost were elegant database reporting systems that only the tech savvy would appreciate.

My favorite new feature was the advent in Quicken of downloading data from your bank account so you don't have to enter it. You can then easily balance your account, bank errors and all, without having to pay any attention. Banks don't make errors....


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## MysteryMan (May 17, 2010)

Newer doesn't always mean better. Remember Windows Millennium and Vista?


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## TBlazer07 (Feb 5, 2009)

HDJulie said:


> iPhone - so easy an old person can use it


+10. As much as I hate Apple you are so right. My wife (mid-60's) finally broke her 20something yr old Moto-Razr flipper with less than 5 minutes lifetime calls :lol:. I let her mess with my Galaxy S2 .... fuggetaboutit. I started looking on eBay for a "new" Razr. I "fooled" her (boy did she start out angry) and got her an iPhone 3Gs pretty cheap ...... she's in heaven now (figuratively that is .......) Jailbroke & unlocked it and put it on T-Mobile prepaid and for less than $7/month she's having a blast (no data - but there is plenty of wi-fi here and where she works).


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## hdtvfan0001 (Jul 28, 2004)

MysteryMan said:


> Newer doesn't always mean better. Remember Windows Millennium and Vista?


Quite true.

Remember iPhone 4? 

As for teaching an old dog new tricks...

I have seen that this is not the obstacle that seems to be portrayed in the original post - at least not with the group of folks I know or work with that are official AARP members - in fact - they embrace new technology, and often want to learn. They also get insulted with oversimplified technology that dumbs down functionality.

Then again...there are always a few folks who simply are happy with the status quo and prefer not to change at all. I've even seen this in 20-somethings.

P.S.

I noticed Vader has not yet used "the Force" to help...maybe that is the cure.


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## djlong (Jul 8, 2002)

Lord Vader said:


> So she should get an iPhone for $199 or so, then add a keyboard for another $50 to $100, when she can get the Samsung Epic for $99 and already have a keyboard and a much better--and bigger--screen?
> 
> It's obvious what the better deal is.


If the Epic's Android OS isn't something your mother can learn - but iOS *is* something she can get along with, even getting the Epic for FREE is no bargain. Android is far more customizable than iOS and you can "side load" apps and it's easier to jailbreak. All good arguments for Android if you're a techie. BUT - Apple is much better on app security. Android is a much less secure ecosystem and, when something DOES go wrong, you have ONE point of contact for iOS (Apple) instead of multiple where your carrier might tell you to call Samsung and they might tell you to call Google.

However, if it's a keyboard you're wanting, try this:

http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/cellphone/ea6d/?srp=2

It's a Bluetooth slide-out kepboard that clips on to the iPhone - and it's $25 at the moment.


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## Lord Vader (Sep 20, 2004)

$199 for an iPhone (with a screen 28% smaller), $99 for Apple Care, an extra $25 for an iffy add-on keyboard (yeah, Mom's gonna LOVE that flimsy thing); or $99 for an Epic with a $50 rebate?

I think it's easy to see which is the better all around deal.


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## HDJulie (Aug 10, 2008)

It's been a little while since your mom got the new Epic. Is she starting to come around to it now that she has had some time with it?


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## Lord Vader (Sep 20, 2004)

From what my dad said, it sounds like it. For one thing, she spends hours each day playing Angry Birds and can't put it down. Little by little she plays around with other functions. I was thinking of rooting her phone--I rooted my dad's EVO and my sister's EVO along with my EVO a while ago, but the EVO is so simple to root when compared to the Epic. Besides, I don't think my mom needs hers to be rooted. For what she's using it, it's probably not necessary. 

My sister, my dad, and me, that's different. I partitioned our SD cards to increase memory capacity and usage, and with all the apps we have, rooting made sense.


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## Lord Vader (Sep 20, 2004)

THIS is why it's so difficult dealing with my mom, and THIS is why it's not my fault...

Last weekend I'm over at their house when my mom tells me, "Take this phone back. I don't want it. Just get me one that lets me make and receive calls!"

Of course, I tell her we're past the Sprint 14-day return period. I then told her I'd show her how to make calls to her most frequently dialed contacts. I said, "I'm going to show you how to speed dial these contacts with one key stroke. You just tap their contact icon on your screen, and the call is dialed."

Throwing the phone at me--literally--she screams, "I don't want to learn. I'm not going to listen. Take it back! I just want to be able to make calls easily." 

"So, you'd rather dial a bunch of numbers, then hunt for the send button, instead of pressing only ONE thing on the screen?" 

"That's all I want! I don't want to learn anything!"

"But that's the point. I'm going to show you how it's easier with this phone," I explained.

"This is what I have to live with," my father chimes in. "She needs a f-----g psychiatrist. She has no patience and does nothing but *****!"

Hey! It's only been 48+ years of a Constanza-like marriage. What do they expect? 

Seriously, how can I even deal with someone who is so STUPIDLY lazy and REFUSES to let me show her something so simple? Yes, this is my mother, but I'm not going to mince words when I say that this woman is being totally ridiculous here. It's worse than a typical older person who just doesn't want to learn. She's being temperamentally lazy, and for no good reason.

Oh, BTW, she still wants to be able to play Angry Birds and other games. Ain't gonna be possible on an old style flip phone, Mom.


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## hdtvfan0001 (Jul 28, 2004)

The interesting thing here is that over the holidays...there were 3 generations of family here...and ALL of them have embraced technology in many ways. 

The youngest (14) is anxiously awaiting a tablet...which he honestly is smart enough to use and mature enough not to abuse. The oldest is a tablet, PC, and smartphone user already.

Pretty cool stuff.


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## Lord Vader (Sep 20, 2004)

My father is 70. My mother turns 70 in August. My dad has slowly been playing with his EVO. I rooted it for him to open its possibilities even more. He admits he does love his new phone and the things he does. I keep the whole family updated with info on the latest apps, the coolest paid and free ones, etc. Everyone except for my mother loves the technology and what it can do. 

She just needlessly shuts her ears to everything, then wonders how we're able to do certain things with our phones.


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## Drucifer (Feb 12, 2009)

Lord Vader said:


> THIS is why it's so difficult dealing with my mom, and THIS is why it's not my fault...
> 
> Last weekend I'm over at their house when my mom tells me, "Take this phone back. I don't want it. Just get me one that lets me make and receive calls!"
> 
> ...


All this tells me is that you don't really know your mom.


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## Lord Vader (Sep 20, 2004)

Oh, I do. THAT'S the problem!


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## Stewart Vernon (Jan 7, 2005)

"Lord Vader" said:


> Oh, I do. THAT'S the problem!


So... Why did you get her the phone in the first place?

I know better than to get something for my father that he would not want to learn how to use... And I certainly wouldn't blame him if I wasn't smart enough than to buy him something he didn't want.


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## Herdfan (Mar 18, 2006)

My mother is the same. 

One time after a power outage, her DVR locked up. I was out of town and couldn't come fix it. So she did without TV in the living room for 3 days because she didn't want to follow instructions on how to do a RBR. Said it was too complicated. ulling remaining hair out:


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## Lord Vader (Sep 20, 2004)

Stewart Vernon said:


> So... Why did you get her the phone in the first place?
> 
> I know better than to get something for my father that he would not want to learn how to use... And I certainly wouldn't blame him if I wasn't smart enough than to buy him something he didn't want.


I thought I explained that in the OP. 

As the saying goes, she wanted her cake...


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## Mark Holtz (Mar 23, 2002)

Just tonight, my mother says that we should hook up the VCR. Never mind that we haven't even used the VCR for five years, and that 99% of the stuff has been replaced by DVD. "We still have tapes," she says, "and the guy at Sam's Club told me not to ever get rid of the VCR." Besides, her friend still uses her VCR.

Sigh...


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## phrelin (Jan 18, 2007)

Lord Vader said:


> As the saying goes, she wanted her cake...


 That's a problem I'm struggling with.

I want it, but it's become more difficult to harness the patience and desire to learn. I'm sitting here right now with a couple of program updates - new versions really - that have been on my desk for a couple of months.

My brain says back in 1980 when we got our first Tandy Model II for our business I didn't realize that all that fun learning the OS and coding in BASIC and COBOL (which I had learned ten years earlier on an IBM 360) and the word processing software and the spreadsheet software and the database software that really meant I was heading into learning dozens and dozens of OS's and programming languages and word processors and the interwebs while some joker sticks a computer in my car that I would have to take two hours to learn before I could drive it safely....

But I still wanted a new car. And I love my iPad and Kindle and "the cloud". And I'm frustrated because I know I'm not using any of it to its capabilities and somehow I feel like things have become "the fog." And the other day because I don't use it often enough I couldn't answer my iPhone because in the bright sunlight I couldn't see much (cataracts) and I just pushed rather than slide....

The difference between me and your mother is that I've been making my way through the deep tech fog for 30+ years simply because I enjoyed it and I know it really isn't different except it's everywhere and in everything and people like me encouraged it.

My dad built a crystal radio receiver and won an award in high school. I remember that and the fact that somehow he marveled at change until he died at 83.

So I try to keep marveling and my wife does too, though she says with a great deal of irritation that she couldn't watch TV if something happened to me because the system I cobbled together is too complicated. And occasionally in the dark I push the wrong button on the A/V receiver remote and don't know what I did and get that "see" stare.

I still have a land line though, just in case I actually have to talk to someone....


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## Stewart Vernon (Jan 7, 2005)

"Lord Vader" said:


> I thought I explained that in the OP.
> 
> As the saying goes, she wanted her cake...


You have only explained and insulted your mother for not trying harder to learn how to use the new phone you bought her... You have yet to explain why you, knowing your own mother, bought her something you already suspected would be difficult for her to use... IF she bought her phone and then bugged you, I could understand... But you created this situation by buying her a phone you liked, tried to set it up the way you like it, and then get frustrated when your technology-resistant mother doesn't want to use it the way you want her to use it.

It seems like all the frustration and complaining could have been avoided if you knew better than to get yourself into this situation.

Example... I learned long ago not to give old computers away to family or friends who were not good at learning how to use them because I would become their on-call tech support forever!


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## Lord Vader (Sep 20, 2004)

Stewart Vernon said:


> You have only explained and insulted your mother for not trying harder to learn how to use the new phone you bought her... You have yet to explain why you, knowing your own mother, bought her something you already suspected would be difficult for her to use... IF she bought her phone and then bugged you, I could understand... But you created this situation by buying her a phone you liked, tried to set it up the way you like it, and then get frustrated when your technology-resistant mother doesn't want to use it the way you want her to use it.
> 
> It seems like all the frustration and complaining could have been avoided if you knew better than to get yourself into this situation.
> 
> Example... I learned long ago not to give old computers away to family or friends who were not good at learning how to use them because I would become their on-call tech support forever!


No, I didn't buy her a phone I liked. In fact, I don't like the Epic at all. Her phone was on an AT&T account with my father's. My dad controlled the account. He realized his kids, who all have EVOs with Sprint, were spending a lot less money but also had much more advanced phones. So, my father discussed going on a family plan account to save a good chunk of money, and in the meantime getting new phones.

I spoke with both him and my mother about the new technology and what it could do. My mom said just to make sure the phone had a large keyboard and could play Angry Birds. The Epic was the only one that fit that requirement. I further discussed with my dad that my mother might find it too technological. His reaction was, "As long as it can make and receive calls and she can use a keyboard, that's fine." Oh, and she wanted it to do texting. Knowing that GoSMS Pro is probably the best SMS app out there, I intended to put that on her phone since she texts her girl friends a lot.

Both my dad and I knew it might be a steep learning curve--that's one reason why I didn't even bother to root her phone--but I never expected her to refuse to even _*want *_to learn how to use it. She refused to read the manual; she refused to listen to even my most basic instructions. Yet she wanted capabilities only a smart phone would provide.

There, satisfied now?


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## HDJulie (Aug 10, 2008)

I have the exact same mom. It's hard for anyone who doesn't have a mom like that to understand what you mean. I, unfortunately, understand perfectly.


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## hdtvfan0001 (Jul 28, 2004)

Anyone else feel like they're in a therapy session...??? :


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## scooper (Apr 22, 2002)

hdtvfan0001 said:


> Anyone else feel like they're in a therapy session...??? :


maybe a [email protected]$#^ session.....

But I do sympathize with the Dark Lord on his frustration.


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## Lord Vader (Sep 20, 2004)

"scooper" said:


> maybe a [email protected]$#^ session.....
> 
> But I do sympathize with the Dark Lord on his frustration.


Indeed


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## RobertE (Jun 10, 2006)

hdtvfan0001 said:


> Anyone else feel like they should be in a therapy session...??? :


fixed that for you.


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## hdtvfan0001 (Jul 28, 2004)

RobertE said:


> fixed that for you.


:lol:


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## Stewart Vernon (Jan 7, 2005)

It sure does seem, though, that a lot of time is being spent here complaining instead of there resolving. If I had a parent like that I would not get involved in buying the phone in the first place... And I certainly wouldn't trash my parent on a public forum behind her back.


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## Lord Vader (Sep 20, 2004)

So I should have left it up to my parents to research and buy the phone after switching to Sprint, etc., etc.? Yeah, that would have worked. Not!

I took the lead because my father asked me to do so. He wanted to save money, wanted a new phone for both of them, yadda yadda as I explained above.


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## Kevin F (May 9, 2010)

"phrelin" said:


> I still have a land line though, just in case I actually have to talk to someone....


You must have AT&T 

Kevin


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## Lord Vader (Sep 20, 2004)

I've got a landline and won't get rid of it. It's through Ooma.


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## Stewart Vernon (Jan 7, 2005)

"Lord Vader" said:


> So I should have left it up to my parents to research and buy the phone after switching to Sprint, etc., etc.? Yeah, that would have worked. Not!
> 
> I took the lead because my father asked me to do so. He wanted to save money, wanted a new phone for both of them, yadda yadda as I explained above.


So then why are you complaining?

That is what I don't get... You knew what you were getting into. It would be like walking into a kennel and complaining about the animal smell.

You knew what you were in for, so I see no reason to gripe about it after the fact. That is where I am confused.


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## SaLance (Apr 4, 2011)

Stewart Vernon said:


> So then why are you complaining?
> 
> That is what I don't get... You knew what you were getting into. It would be like walking into a kennel and complaining about the animal smell.
> 
> You knew what you were in for, so I see no reason to gripe about it after the fact. That is where I am confused.


We all gripe about things we knew we were in for. I thought that was what the difference betweenn a gripe, and a legitamte complaint. :lol:


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## Lord Vader (Sep 20, 2004)

Exactly. I KNEW it was going to be a challenge--I even told my dad that. What I didn't expect is someone to actually yell to me, "I don't want to learn" or "I'm not going to learn, show me how...".

My question is this--how can one "show someone how" to do something *if that person refuses to be shown how?*


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## Stewart Vernon (Jan 7, 2005)

You can't.

A person will only learn what he/she is willing to learn, regardless of the teaching.


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## Lord Vader (Sep 20, 2004)

Obviously, which is one reason my dad and sister have both chastised her for her behavior.


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## Nick (Apr 23, 2002)

Lord Vader said:


> Obviously, which is one reason my dad and sister have both chastised her for her behavior.


Wow! You really need to win this argument, don't you.

Your mother has her reasons and it may or may not have anything to do with you and your piss-poor attitude. Why don't you just leave Mom alone on this and let this awful thread die...


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## Karen (Oct 4, 2007)

Being around the same age as your mom, I might have a little insight into her problem. Maybe she's upset that she can't remember things the way she used to and doesn't want to admit it to herself or anybody else. She wants the cause of her distress gone, and not there to remind her that she isn't the way she used to be...


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## Cholly (Mar 22, 2004)

Vader: Don't be pissed at your Mom because she's technologically challenged. Some folks of all age groups just can't relate to modern technology. Let her discover things on her own or perhaps through some friends who have smart phones. She's not about to listen to either you or your father. You're too close to her and she probably feels insulted by your attempts. Badgering her will get you nowhere.


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## Lord Vader (Sep 20, 2004)

Cholly, I appreciate your comments (much more constructive than Nick's ridiculous, condescending post), as your words aren't lost on me. Truthfully, I'm not pissed as much as I am frustrated. I'm also not badgering her. When I see her and try to help, I remind her that even I had to be dragged kicking and screaming into the 21st Century technologically and had to learn things on my own. 

I reminded her that my sister is there to help if she has any basic questions. My sister is fairly adept at the phone-related stuff because of my having helped her as well. My father probably doesn't help because he always just rips into my mother, belittling her and criticizing her even publicly. (I often how they stayed married for 48+ years with the way my dad personally degrades her in front of anyone, but that's a discussion for a different time.)

The fact that I haven't heard from my mom about her phone in a week might be a good thing.


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## billsharpe (Jan 25, 2007)

Absolutely fascinating thread.

I'm 81 and have been using computers since the 1960's. However, I only bought an iPod Touch a year ago after I saw how much my grandson used his toy.

And today my wife bought an iPad2 after seeing her son-in-law's machine working when they visited us for Christmas. I expect she'll use it mainly for reading library books, which of course is overkill for an iPad, but she will also use e-mail, do some web surfing, and probably find some quilting apps to install.


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## Lord Vader (Sep 20, 2004)

"billsharpe" said:


> Absolutely fascinating thread.


Are you sure? Nick thinks this is an "awful" thread.

I also heard that when Bill Cosby & Jerry Seinfeld did their bits on their respective parents, Nick thought those were unfunny & "awful" as well.


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## phrelin (Jan 18, 2007)

"Lord Vader" said:


> Are you sure? Nick thinks this is an "awful" thread.
> 
> I also heard that when Bill Cosby & Jerry Seinfeld did their bits on their respective parents, Nick thought those were unfunny & "awful" as well.


I sure think this is an interesting cross-generational thread.

I'm trying to figure if there's any way we can relate to our grandkids perspective on things. Partly this is because in the "natural" scheme of things we are really the age of great-grandparents - the "kids" we're 40ish when they decided to have kids. Then there's the pace of technology change.

I feel so old when I suggest that they might enjoy walking without earbuds and constant texting, you know actually experiencing the environment around them be it urban or here in the woods. I love music and typing to communicate, but you need to notice the bear in front of you to feel alive.

Frustration I guess is just going to be a given in familial cross-generation interaction.


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## djlong (Jul 8, 2002)

Vader - is it just me or did some others miss something here?

I asked you several questions and you answered them. You then posted a while back that your mother could hardly put the phone down because she was playing Angry Birds on it so much.

Now she comes back and is IRATE at you and seemingly obstinate to a degree that challenges ANY logic whatsover - and your father chimes in with a "Welcome to my world.." comment.

Do I have this correct?

If I do - there's something that hasn't been mentioned. There's a real possibility that there something physically wrong with your mother. (I have in-laws that may be struggling with this realization)

If there's more irrationality in her life - more than just the phone stuff, I *implore* you to get this woman in to a doctor for a check-up.

I mean, I'm just an outsider looking in, with only the parts of the story that you're relating. Perhaps other family members have been too close to the situation to see the difference and you may have a "boiling frog" problem.


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## phrelin (Jan 18, 2007)

djlong said:


> Vader - is it just me or did some others miss something here?
> 
> I asked you several questions and you answered them. You then posted a while back that your mother could hardly put the phone down because she was playing Angry Birds on it so much.
> 
> ...


You're raising an issue I was reluctant to suggest.

For us seniors it is well-known as sundowners syndrome, something that can be caused by a simple sleep disorder even in young people or a part of the early stages of dementia, which is why we try to ignore it away. It's a symptom, not a disease. Read the web page linked and/or Google it.


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## Lord Vader (Sep 20, 2004)

I don't think it's anything physical, guys, mainly because my mother has been this way her entire life.


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## phrelin (Jan 18, 2007)

Lord Vader said:


> I don't think it's anything physical, guys, mainly because my mother has been this way her entire life.


!rolling

I think I know her long lost sister.


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## Lord Vader (Sep 20, 2004)

Yet another reason why our parents must not be allowed to make decisions about technology...

This one's about my dad, but first, a little history.

Other than money, which is probably the #1 cause of arguments in a household, computer-related issues are the next biggest argument producer in my parents' house (it's my mom and dad, my sister and her 11-year-old daughter under one roof). My father--frugality or outright cheapskateness?--has never in his life purchased a brand name computer. He has always believed they're ridiculously overpriced and a waste of money.

About 6 or 7 years ago he purchased a Medion PC w/ monitor for around $300 at, of all places Aldi. Aldi frequently sells off brand electronics stuff in special sales (PCs, TVs, etc.). My dad was ecstatic with glee, needling me for spending "way too much money on your Dell laptop" (since switched to desktop) because he got a brand new PC and monitor for $300.00. Over the course of those years I provided him with programs and even Windows XP Professional when it came out. Well, a few years after he purchased this thing, one problem after another developed. He spent hundreds of dollars taking it to a local computer shop and countless hours of his time (and my time) trying to figure out how to correct one issue after another. Of course, he never factored in the cost of all this and one's time when he purchased an off brand PC from Aldi, because saving a couple hundred bucks in order to spend maybe a thousand or two more over the next couple years to fix it (not to mention the value of his time to troubleshoot it) is the wiser thing to do. Not. He eventually got a new PC--another Medion at Aldi, with a new monitor, for around $400. This one was loaded with Vista.

Two years ago he purchased a second such system from Aldi and also loaded with Vista. This one he bought as a gift for my niece, my sister's daughter, who really needed her own PC for school work and all (seems Grandma was hogging the main PC in my dad's "office" to play Mahjong for several hours a day). Well, once this PC was purchased, Grandma moved her game playing to my niece's PC because that one was located outside my niece's room, which was on the same level as my parents' room, unlike the main PC in my dad's office two floors below.

Last fall my niece's PC began to experience one problem after another. He took it in to his local computer shop three times, each time spending around $150 to "fix" it. However, it was still having issues. Of course, he blamed everyone else for its problems. "All these people playing their f-----g games on the PC! They f----d up the computer!" He honestly believes because too many users were operating this PC, that they were the reason it developed problems. Uh huh. I asked him if that's true, then why do all the Dell PCs at my former school get used by tons of kids every day and STILL work just fine?

Around December I told him about some specials Dell was running. He wouldn't budge. He believes anyone spending near $600 for a new desktop is a fool and throwing their money away. "You get what you pay for, Dad," I told him when I commented on his buying cheap. Because he didn't budge, he missed out on some great deals in December. Well, he finally had it. The PC upstairs wasn't working at all, and they really needed a new one to replace the now defunct one that he bought as a birthday gift for my niece, their granddaughter. So, I was on the lookout for a new PC, one of the brand name models if I could find it. (I've had some BAD experiences with HPs and will never buy their PCs again.) Last week I found a good deal on a Dell Inspiron 620 ST. He didn't need a really advanced unit with tons of bells and whistles; rather, just a good one that would serve my niece well. That particular model was on sale, too.

Now, he *****ed up a storm when I told him the price included a monitor. "I already have a monitor. I don't need a new one," he yelled. "OK, if you're satisfied with an old, SD monitor, fine," I told him. I dug around and found the same Inspiron 620 ST without a monitor for less than $500. All he needed to do is add 2GB of extra RAM, and his grand total came to about $500 shipped. Finally! He bit and ordered it.

Remember, this was to be a replacement for the PC he bought my niece Becky 2 years ago for her birthday. However, when he ordered it, he decided to tell my niece that he decided he'd keep the new one downstairs in his office for himself and move that one in his office upstairs for my niece. Of course, this meant that he had to transfer all his programs and other stuff from his office PC to the new Dell. Normally a relatively simple process, right? Well, not for my dad. No, he couldn't just put the new one upstairs, connect it, and be done with things.

My mom calls ME to ***** to ME that he should have just put the new one upstairs. "After all, your niece reminded him it was replacing one he bought her for her birthday," my mom tells me. I explained to her, "But he's the one spending $500, so he has the right to put it where he wants. Of course, the easiest thing for him to do is to just put it upstairs. I don't know why he has to make a mess of things and transfer all that garbage from his PC to the new one."

My dad got the PC in today at noon. Six and a half hours later, he still isn't done transferring things. In fact, my mom tells me he's been cussing up a storm all day because "this new piece of s--t Dell isn't working right." Uh huh. 

Oh, my dad did call me earlier when he unboxed the new Dell to complain that (my responses to him in parentheses):


"The monitor isn't compatible! I went to connect it, and the Dell has an old 15-pin connector. The monitor has one of those thin, wide, white DB connector things. The Dell has antiquated connections! WTF is that?!?" (Uh, dad, just use an adapter cable.)
"You mean I now have to go shopping and spend more money just to connect my monitor?"
"The Dell only has 2 USB ports in the front." You told me it had a bunch of USB ports. Even the Medion had more." (Dad, there are 2 in the front and 6 in the back, maybe even more elsewhere. Calm down.)
"The card reader is just one small slot! You said it would read 8 different sized cards! I don't see any other damn card slots!" (Dad, it's an 8:1 card reader. One slot reads all different sizes. Besides, when have you ever used that thing other than for an occasional transfer from your one, 5-year-old digital camera's SD card? You don't even *have *any other types of cards to read!)
My sister took her niece out of the house, and they disappeared for the day to get away. My mom is holed up in her bedroom, 2 floors away from my dad, who is *****ing about the whole transfer process giving him problems. Of course, this all could have been avoided had he just put the new one upstairs to replace my niece's.

And I'm not answering my phone when Dad calls.


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## Lord Vader (Sep 20, 2004)

In the "I told ya so" category...

9 hours and counting, and my sister tells me my dad's office looks like a tornado hit it. He STILL hasn't been able to transfer stuff from his office PC to the new one. He's got both machines taken apart and spread all over the room. He can't get a new printer installed because he screwed something up. 

Well, before the upstairs PC (my niece's) went on the fritz, I recommended he get Carbonite as an online backup system. With a promo code I had, he could get two computers coverage for 15 months (3 free months) for $99. My brother convinced him that this was a "waste of money," and that he'd be "just fine" with an external hard drive as a backup, because that's what my brother was using (*cough, cough*--my brother got a nasty virus last summer, and it ruined his external drive; so much for external backups). Never mind this only works for one machine, as the drive is only connected to one machine, his downstairs one. Moreover, twice in the last 3 years a bad storm brought 3 inches of water into the basement/rec room/his office, and guess where he kept his hard drive? Yup. On the floor.

I suggested he get Carbonite on both PCs, because that way, he could backup all his files (or even all his programs if he did a mirror image backup), then when he got a new PC, he would just log in to Carbonite, choose restore, then restore to that PC. Did he do this? Of course not. When I asked him about this today, before his PC arrived today, he said he had Carbonite just for the 15-day trial period, but didn't want to pay for it after that. So, his trial period expired, as did his backup.

So about an hour ago, just to let him know, I texted him that he could have transferred everything by doing it the Carbonite route had he purchased that for his 2 PCs. Instead, he didn't want to "waste money," and would rather spend now going on over 9 hours trying to transfer one item at a time and more. 

Now, I realize that some of you might have easier suggestions for what he could have accomplished, but considering I mentioned to him a while back to have some sort of backup protection for his two PCs, and Carbonite was one inexpensive solution, he should never have gone through this mess that he created.

Dad, I love ya, but you're making mountains out of mole hills for sure!


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## djlong (Jul 8, 2002)

He's taking apart the PCs?!?!?!?!


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## Lord Vader (Sep 20, 2004)

Not the new one, I don't believe. 

As if this morning, BTW, he was still working on the machines. Day 2 in what should have been a simple thing to do.


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