# Questions & Answers



## Nick (Apr 23, 2002)

Questions & Not-So-Brilliant Answers

If you could live forever, would you and why? 
Answer: 'I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,' 
-- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest . 
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'Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.' 
-- Mariah Carey 
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'Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.'
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign. 
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'I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.' 
-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward. 
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'Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.' 
-- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC 
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'That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it.' 
-- A congressional candidate in Texas 
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'Half this game is ninety percent mental.' 
-- Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark 
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'It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.' 
-- Al Gore, Vice President 
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'I love California . I practically grew up in Phoenix ' 
-- Dan Quayle while campaigning 
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'We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need ?' 
-- Lee Iacocca 
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'The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.' 
-- Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst. 
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'We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people.' 
-- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor . 
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'Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances.' 
-- Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina 
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'Traditionally, most of Australia 's imports come from overseas.' 
-- Keppel Enderbery 
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'If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning if they wake up dead, there'll be a record.' 
-- Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman 
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Feeling smarter yet? 

Pass this on to your brilliant friends -- I just did!


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## roadrunner1782 (Sep 28, 2008)

The one about the food stamps really made me laugh! Although not funny that someone passed away but to send a letter that says that, hillarious.


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## BobaBird (Mar 31, 2002)

I would like to be feeling smarter, but I must confess I'm having a hard time arguing with most of these.


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## dave29 (Feb 18, 2007)

That's pretty good.


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## smiddy (Apr 5, 2006)

Whoa, I wonder how man of those folks had a bad moment when that quote was taken?


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## jpx5 (Jul 24, 2007)

Probably true to form for most of our politicians.


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