# Top 10 Ways To Get Rid of Jehovah's Witnesses



## Steve Mehs

1. Answer the door naked and carrying weaponry (immediate results).

2. Pretend to be the slowest talking person in the world and see how long their spirit of charity lasts.

3. Answer every one of their questions with: "What do you mean by that?" This might take a while, but you and your loved ones can have fun placing bets on how long it takes for them to get flustered and leave.

4. Ask them to reconcile Revelation 1 and 22 for the "Alpha & Omega's" identity (Jesus or God), repeat constantly. You may have to resort to another method to actually get rid of them, but this will definitely make them sweat.

5. Excuse yourself from your living room (or wherever)... and don't come back.

6. Make a series of increasingly reprehensible fake phone calls (bookie, order for pornography, drug deal, obscene call, and if they are STILL there, a tearful confession to the police for the murder of the last Witnesses who visited you.)

7. Pick an oft-repeated word in their lexicon (God, Jesus, heaven, it, the etc.) and giggle whenever they utter it. If they ask you what's going on, say "nothing, why?" in very even tones, and giggle again.

8. Same as #7, except say "beep" instead of giggling.

9. (Males only) Feign an intense interest in their spiel. Part way through, begin putting on make-up, hosiery, a dress, the whole nine yards. Make encouraging noises (uh huh, I see...) throughout, and if they ask you what you're doing, pull a # 7. If they're still there when you are done, Ask them if they would please kindly leave as you have a hot date in ten minutes.

10. Look smug and tell them that your God can beat up their God.


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## DarrellP

A friend of mine used to offer his brochure when the JW's showed up with their's. His brochure: The KKK (phoney but effective).


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## Frapp

I simply tell them we are Catholic ( which we are ) and that typically scares the H**L out of them as it does most protestants ......... or at least evangelical ones


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## Neil Derryberry

I've used that approach.. I used to be a high-school youth catechist, so the JW's and I had a somewhat brief discussion on my front porch. I do give them credit for standing there as long as they did, and I have never heard from them again.


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