# Some Chuckles



## Slamminc11 (Jan 28, 2005)

DISTANCE

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking....... And 
one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away...Florida 
or the moon?" 
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see 
Florida...?????" 


CAR TROUBLE 
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. 
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. 
She says, "What's the story?" 
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor" 
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?" 


SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he 
could see her license. 
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just 
yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it 
to you!" 


RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another 
blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the 
other side?" 
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 
"You ARE on the other side." 


AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE 
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her 
body hurt wherever she touched it. 
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me." 
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed, then 
she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She pushed her knee and 
screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she 
touched made her scream. 
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you? 
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde." 
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken" 


KNITTING 
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing 
at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was 
knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, 
the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 
"PULL OVER!" 
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!" 


BLONDE ON THE SUN 
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, 
"We were the first in space!" 
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!" 
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!" 
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. 
"You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian. 
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at 
night!" 


IN A VACUUM 
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. 
She rolled the dice and she landed on Science &Nature. 
Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" 
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"


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## Dan the Cards fan (Mar 18, 2006)

Slamminc11 said:


> DISTANCE
> 
> Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking....... And
> one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away...Florida
> ...


I heard a different variation of these somewhere else.

!rolling


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## Nick (Apr 23, 2002)

Like handguns, the "Reply With Quote" button should be safely locked away,
and its use restricted to those who are experienced enough to handle it.


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## Dan the Cards fan (Mar 18, 2006)

Nick said:


> Like handguns, the "Reply With Quote" button should be safely locked away,
> and its use restricted to those who are experienced enough to handle it.


Uh, ok then.


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