# a request



## curt8403 (Dec 27, 2007)

this may sound very bad, but I need more duck jokes. I started telling them to my co-workers and I have people coming over to my desk every evening to hear a new Joke. Jody and Debi, you've been great in the past. can anyone help?


----------



## harsh (Jun 15, 2003)

http://duckbarjokes.com/


----------



## justlgi (Apr 11, 2008)

"Doctor, doctor, my wife thinks she's a duck." 

"You better bring her in to see me straight away." 

"I can't do that - she's already flown south for the winter." 

/It's all I've got.


----------



## curt8403 (Dec 27, 2007)

justlgi said:


> "Doctor, doctor, my wife thinks she's a duck."
> 
> "You better bring her in to see me straight away."
> 
> ...


 good, it helps


----------



## dbconsultant (Sep 13, 2005)

curt8403 said:


> good, it helps


Here you go, Curt. I found these when I got up today - in other words, at the quack of dawn! And I looked them up while having my breakfast - duckin' donuts!!!! By the way, do you know why a duck says, "Quack"? Because it can't say, "Moo"! 

http://www.liveducks.com/jokes.html
http://www.racingducks.com/index_fun_zone.php?mod=jokes
http://www.ridetheducks.com/experience/jokes/

*To sleep, perchance to dream.....of ducks?*


----------



## curt8403 (Dec 27, 2007)

justlgi said:


> "Doctor, doctor, my wife thinks she's a duck."
> 
> "You better bring her in to see me straight away."
> 
> ...


Dr. Dr. You've got to help my Husband, He think's he's a refridgerator...

I'm not sure I can help with that, what is the problem

He sleeps with his mouth open, and the light keeps me up all night.


----------



## Pink Fairy (Dec 28, 2006)

Wow...


----------



## MT_Falconer (Jul 11, 2008)

One day, a duck walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender, sits down on a stool and says, "Got any grapes?" The bartender looks at the duck and says, "No, Duck, this is a bar. We have no grapes." Without saying anything else, the duck walks out.

The next day, the duck returns, sits down at the same stool, and again asks the bartender, "Got any grapes?" A little irritated now, the bartender replies, "Duck, I told you once before, this is not a grocery store. WE HAVE NO GRAPES." The duck walks out. 

However, the next day the duck walks in and asks for a third time. "Got any grapes?" The bartender is really angry now and yells, "I swear to you, Duck if you ask that one more time I'm going to nail your beak to the counter!" The duck walks out.

The fourth day, the duck enters the bar again, and asks the bartender, "Got any nails?" The bartender, his temper pushed to the max, slams his fist on the bar. "NO DUCK! This is not a hardware store, it is a BAR!" The duck looks at him smiling and says, "Good! Got any grapes?"


----------



## Stuart Sweet (Jun 19, 2006)

http://www.milkandcookies.com/link/56663/detail/

(partial transcript, from The Cocoanuts)



> Groucho:
> 
> Now here is a little peninsula, and here is a viaduct leading over to the mainland.
> 
> ...


----------

