# The Newest Viruses



## hdtvfan0001 (Jul 28, 2004)

Immediately scan your computer for the following viruses:

TED TURNER VIRUS: Colorizes your monochrome monitor. 

PAUL REVERE VIRUS: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack: Once, if by LAN; twice if by C. 

POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS: Never identifies itself as a "virus," but instead refers to itself as an "electronic micro-organism." 

GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic ware says everything is fine. 

FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer. 

GALLUP VIRUS: Sixty percent of the PC's infected will lose 30 percent of their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of error). 

TEXAS VIRUS: Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file. 

ADAM AND EVE VIRUS: Takes a couple bytes out of your Apple. 

AIRLINE LUGGAGE VIRUS: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore. 

FREUDIAN VIRUS: Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard. 

PBS VIRUS: Your programs stop every few minutes to ask for money. 

ELVIS VIRUS: Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy, then self destructs, only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America. 

NIKE VIRUS: Just does it. 

HEALTH CARE VIRUS: Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and sends you a bill for $4,500. 

Politically Correct Virus: rephrases the "Abort, Retry, Fail" prompt as "Choice, Retry, Success-Impaired".


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## Kevin F (May 9, 2010)

Hahah I got a kick out of that. I wonder if they affect Mac OS also...


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## jpx5 (Jul 24, 2007)

Very Funny


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## billsharpe (Jan 25, 2007)

Kevin F said:


> Hahah I got a kick out of that. I wonder if they affect Mac OS also...


see listed Adam and Eve virus...


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## Laxguy (Dec 2, 2010)

Very funny. :lol:

I did see there are two listings for PC (politically correct, not machines!) viruses. (Not virii!).:nono:

Pleased also to note that the alleged Apple virus allegedly affects only a couple of bytes....


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