# Your Morning Wake Up Call



## Nick (Apr 23, 2002)

An older couple is lying in bed one morning. They
had just awakened from a good night's sleep.

He takes her hand and she responds, "Don't touch me."

"Why not?" he asked.

She answered, "Because I'm dead."

The husband asked "What are you talking about? We're
both lying here in bed together and talking to one another!"

She said, "No, I'm definitely dead."

He insisted, "You are not dead. What in the world makes
you think you're dead?"

"Because I woke up this morning and nothing hurts."

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Remember...once you get over the hill, you'll begin to pick up speed.

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I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put some in the food.

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If it weren't for STRESS I'd have no energy at all.

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Whatever hits the fan...will not be evenly distributed.

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Everyone has a photographic memory, but some of us don't have any film.

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I always know God won't give me more than I can handle.
There are times I just wish He didn't trust me quite so much.

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Dogs Have Owners ~ Cats Have Staff

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If the shoe fits...buy a pair in every color.

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Never be too open-minded, your brains may fall out.

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Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian,
any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

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Bills travel through the mail...at twice the speed of checks.

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If you look like your passport picture...you probably need the trip.

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Some days are a total waste of makeup.

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Men are from earth, women are from earth.

Deal with it.

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A balanced diet is a Krispie Krerme Doughnut in each hand.

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Middle age is when broadness of the mind
and narrowness of the waist change places.

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Opportunities always look bigger coming than going.

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Junk is stuff you've kept for years,and
throw away just before you need it.

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Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you
to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

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By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

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Learn from the mistakes of others.You can't live
long enough to make them all yourself. I've tried!!

Have A Wonderful Day!


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## Bogy (Mar 23, 2002)

Nick said:


> An older couple is lying in bed one morning. They
> had just awakened from a good night's sleep.
> 
> He takes her hand and she responds, "Don't touch me."
> ...


How sad is it that at 52 I relate so closely to this. :nono2:  :lol:

It reminds me of a story I used to start last weeks sermon though. A man is unconscious following surger when his pastor comes to visit. The next day the pastor comes back, and the guy is awake. The pastor asks if the parishioner was aware he had been there the day before. The man responds, "Yeah, I though to myself, I'm not in heaven since my pastor is here."


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