# The 50 Funniest Movie Scenes of All Time



## Nick

Maxim Magazine's November 2003 issue ventures into the funny bone zone with its list of the 50 funniest movies of all time. The mag only lists 50 through 40 on their web site, so you'll have to buy the mag to get the compete list.

My all-time funniest scene is in "*A Fish Called Wanda*" (Jamie lee Curtis, Kevin Kline, Michael Palin, John Cleese) when Palin's animal lover character is trying the bump off the little old lady while she's walking her pooch and PETA poster-boy Palin tragically offs her dog instead. Abso-hysterical-lutley funny!! The whole movie was a riot, including the 'nude' scene displaying Cleese's handsomely firm English muffins.

What is your favorite funniest movie scene?


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## navy8ball

it has to be the movie plane trains and automobiles. the scene john candy and steve martin are in bed spooning and he says thats not a pillow.


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## Martyva

Ben Stillers Fly "Something About Mary"


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## leestoo

My favorite is eating beans around the campfire in "Blazing Saddles"


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## Nick

Martyva said:


> Ben Stillers Fly "Something About Mary"


 OUCH! Double OUCH! :eek2:

I was suffering from so much vicarious pain I couldn't fully appreciate the humor of it all.


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## invaliduser88

The Bigus Dickus scene from Life of Brian!


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## BobMurdoch

"Did we give up when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor????!!!??"

"Germans?"

"Forget it he's rolling"

Animal House......... Face it Flounder, there are a dozen other classic scenes as well.


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## Ron Barry

navy8ball said:


> it has to be the movie plane trains and automobiles. the scene john candy and steve martin are in bed spooning and he says thats not a pillow.


Actually I believe the lines are

Where are your hands? 
Between two soft pillows.... 
Those are not two soft pillows... UGH!!!

great line!!


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## Ron Barry

Great questions.... Boy I will have to think about this one.... Might have to say the starting scene from American Pie (The sock scene) off the top of my head. But given time I am sure I will come up with something better. 

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. Great movie!! One of my all time favorites.


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## markh

The scene that always cracks me up is from one of the Pink Panther movies where inspector Clouseau is trying to get into the castle. Swine moat!


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## Halfsek

Johnny English. Terrible movie.

Great line:

"The only thing the French should host is an invasion."


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## BobMurdoch

Jay and Silent Bob Strikes Back is classic as well..........

Jason Biggs whining.......

"Oh sure, F a pie in ONE movie, and your the Pie-F'er for the rest of your life"

Gotta love them going door to door laying the smackdown on all the trolls who attacked them on the internet.... Hmmmmm. Visions of them paying a visit to certain E* bashers here. Come to think of it Red Bank is only 20 minutes from my house........ I'll be back in an hour......


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## Nick

The movie *1941* The Japanese sub stealthily approaches the California coast and quietly surfaces. Sailors open the hatches, take one look, and with wide-open eyes shout with delight, "Horrywood! Horrywood!"

Cracks me up thinking about it.


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## torque91

One of my favorites would be the whole "the new phone book's here!/he hates these cans" sequence in "The Jerk".

Another good one is the Baby Ruth scene in "Caddyshack".


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## cnsf

The end of the film "Some Like it Hot" or Charlie Chaplin screwing w/wrenches wildly in Modern Times.

Let's not forget the glow-in-the-dark condom fight in Skin Deep......

OR, the sperm scene in Everything You Wanted to Know About Sex but Were Afraid to Ask


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## MikeSoltis

What about the 'police line-up' scene in Porky's??

Always liked the scene in 'Pushing Tin' where they watch the video tape...
"No, no, no, you gotta see it again!"


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## TNGTony

"I picked the wrong week to stop smoking"

"The're a SALE AT PENNY'S

"Surely, you can't be serious"
"I am Serious, and don't call me Shirley"

"We have to get him to a hospital."
"A Hospital? What is it?"
"It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now."

"Jimmy, do you like movies with gladiators."

"Give me Ham on five and hold the Mayo."

"Give me a vector, Vicctor"
"We have clearance, Clarence"
"Roger, Roger"
"Huh?"
"Roger"
"Huh? What"

"Excuse me, I speak Jive."

"That's Lt. Lynch. He thinks he's Ethem Murman"
"....YOU'LL BE Swell! You'll be GREAT! Gonna have the whole world on a PLATE!...."

Too many to mention

Any 3 minute scene from Airplane!

Or an earlier Zucker and Zucker movie....
"What was that? You need toa-tal consentwation! Now do it again. This time wif fee-wing."

See ya
Tony


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## freakmonkey

Airplane 2 had some great ones my fav from that movie was one of court room scenes:

Pilot: Striker was the squadron leader. He brought us in real low. But he couldn't handle it. 
Prosecutor: Buddy couldn't handle it? Was Buddy one of your crew? 
Pilot: Right. Buddy was the bombardier. But it was Striker who couldn't handle it, and he went to pieces. 
Prosecutor: *Andy* went to pieces? 
Pilot: No. Andy was the navigator. He was all right. Buddy went to pieces. It was awful how he came unglued. 
Prosecutor: *Howie* came unglued? 
Pilot: Oh, no. Howie was a rock, the best tailgunner in the outfit. Buddy came unglued. 
Prosecutor: And he bailed out? 
Pilot: No. Andy hung tough. Buddy bailed out. How he survived, it was a miracle. 
Prosecutor: Then Howie survived? 
Pilot: No, 'fraid not. We lost Howie the next day.
Prosecutor: Over Macho Grande? 
Pilot: No. I don't think I'll ever get over Macho Grande. 

And there was this:

Mr. Hammen: Remember the time we jumped in the car and drove all the way to Woodstock? 
Mrs. Hammen: Oh that was a time. You got hold of that bad acid and didn't come down for two weeks, you told everybody you were Jesus Christ and then jumped off a building thinking you could fly. 
Mr. Hammen: What a bummer. 
Mrs. Hammen: No ****. 

and this:

Simon: Gentlemen, I'd like you to meet your captain, Captain Oveur. 
Clarence Oveur: Gentlemen, welcome aboard. 
Simon: Captain, your navigator, Mr. Unger, and your first officer, Mr. Dunn. 
Clarence Oveur: Unger. 
Unger: Oveur. 
Dunn: Oveur. 
Clarence Oveur: Dunn. Gentlemen, let's get to work. 
Simon: Unger, didn't you serve under Oveur in the Air Force? 
Unger: Not directly. Technically, Dunn was under Oveur and I was under Dunn. 
Dunn: Yep. 
Simon: So, Dunn, you were under Oveur and over Unger. 
Unger: Yep. 
Clarence Oveur: That's right. Dunn was over Unger and I was over Dunn. 
Unger: So, you see, both Dunn and I were under Oveur, even though I was under Dunn. 
Clarence Oveur: Dunn was over Unger, and I was over Dunn. 

and finally:

Prosecutor: Doctor, can you give the Court your impression of Mr. Striker? 
Dr. Stone: I'm sorry. I don't do impressions. My training is in psychiatry


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## Stosh

leestoo said:


> My favorite is eating beans around the campfire in "Blazing Saddles"


Aw, you stole my choice! I love that scene, especially when the horses start whinnying in disgust.

Guess that shows the, uh, maturity level of our senses of humor!


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## MikeSoltis

Speaking of Airplane 2:

Do you know what it's like to laugh like that?
Yes. Yes I do.

And can't forget Fred Gwynne's last movie:
Did you say "yute?"


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## BobMurdoch

Any of the Bill Murray/Gopher scenes from Caddyshack..........

and a new fave...... the cops from Vermont messing with the heads of the stoners in the car from "Super Troopers"


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## mwgiii

Cheech & Chong Up in Smoke.

They have crashed into the telephone pole, the car is filled with pot smoke, a police officer knocks on the window, they say "I hear you knocking but you can't come in."


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## freakmonkey

MikeSoltis said:


> Speaking of Airplane 2:
> 
> Do you know what it's like to laugh like that?
> Yes. Yes I do.
> 
> And can't forget Fred Gwynne's last movie:
> Did you say "yute?"


I forgot about my cousin vinny. Two scenes from that movie where I totally lost it were:

Imagine your a deer. You're prancing along, you get thirsty, you spot a little brook...you put your little deer lips to the cool clear water...BAM a ****in bullet rips off part of your head, your brains are lying on the ground in little bloody pieces, now I ask ya, would you give a **** what kind of pants the son of a ***** who shot you was wearing?

And this:
Vinny: You must be Stan. How ya doin'?

Stan: Why'd they bring you in here?

Vinny: Well I just got in. I asked where the new guys were, and they brought me right in. Hey, sleepin' huh? Cute little guy. Y'know, maybe I'll just start with you. Let him sleep a little bit.

Stan: I don't wanna do this.

Vinny: Hey! I don't blame you. If I was in your situation, I'd want to get through with this whole thing as quickly and with as little pain as possible. So, you know, let's do our best to make it a simple in-and-out procedure.

Vinny: Look, it's either me or them. You're gettin' ****ed one way or the other. Heh he.

Stan tries to get up

Vinny: Hey, relax, I'm gonna help you.

Stan: Gee thanks.

Vinny: Excuse me, I think a modicum of gratitude would not be out of line here.

Stan: You think I should be grateful?

Vinny: Yeah, it's your ass, not mine. I think you should be grateful. I think you should be down on your f-cking' knees.

Stan: I didn't know it was such an honor to get a visit from you.
Vinny: I'm doing a favor, you know. You're gettin' me for nothing, you little f-uck.

Stan: That's one hell of an ego you got.

Vinny Gambini: What the **** is your problem? I did not come down here just to get jerked off.

Stan: I'm not jerking you off. I'm not doing anything.

Vinny Gambini: That's it. You're on your own. I'll just take care of Sleeping Beauty.

Wakes up Bill

Bill: Vinny. Vinny bag'o donuts.

Sorry its so long but that was hilarious.


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## Pepper

"That's a priceless Steinway!"

"Not anymore."


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## Richard King

Just about any scene from "Harold and Maude".
http://www.geocities.com/RainForest/5862/harold.htm
Big quote:


> "Harold," said Mrs. Chasen, "I cannot impress upon you too strongly the
> importance of this meeting. She is the last girl. The Computer Dating Company
> was reluctant to send anyone in view of what they heard. And can you blame
> them? Why, that poor little Edith left here quite shaken. Fortunately, I was
> able to demand that the company stand by their original agreement. But kindly
> remember, Harold, this is your third and final chance."
> 
> The doorbell rang.
> 
> "There she is now, and look at you. Comb your hair and straighten your tie.
> Please, Harold, try to take this seriously, if not for your sake, at least for
> mine."
> 
> Mrs. Chasen left the room, and Harold went to the mirror to straighten his
> tie. He brushed his hair off his forehead and decided, as he looked at
> himself, that this time he would at least try.
> 
> Mrs. Chasen came back with a tall long-haired girl in boots, a leather skirt,
> and a floppy red hat.
> 
> "Harold," she said. "I'd like you to meet Sunshine Dore."
> 
> Harold approached them. "How do you do?" he said.
> 
> "Can't complain," said Sunshine. She had a wide mouth and large teeth.
> 
> "Sunshine is an actress," said Mrs. Chasen.
> 
> "I like to think so," said Sunshine, idly swinging the strands of bead that
> hung around her neck. "I work at it."
> 
> "Now, why don't I leave you two alone for a moment," said Mrs. Chasen.
> "Harold, you could talk in the den, and I'll bring in some drinks. Is lemonade
> all right?"
> 
> "Groovy," said Sunshine.
> 
> "Good," said Mrs. Chasen, and left for the kitchen. She turned at the door to
> prompt her son. "Harold, perhaps Starlight would like a cigarette."
> 
> "That's Sunshine," said Sunshine.
> 
> "Yes, of course," said Mrs. Chasen, and left.
> 
> "Would you like a cigarette?" asked Harold as he led her into the den.
> 
> "No, thank you. They stain my fingers."
> 
> He gestured at the couch. She sat down, and he sat beside her.
> 
> "Is Sunshine your real name?" asked Harold, after a pause.
> 
> "Well, actually, it was the name of my drama teacher--Louis Sunshine.
> perhaps you've heard of him?"
> 
> Harold shook his head.
> 
> "He's mainly a theater personality. Well, he was such an influence on the
> development of my instrument--that means my body in theater talk--that
> when I went to Hollywood and felt the need to express the emerging me in a new
> form, I took on 'Sunshine.' As a tribute. Dore` is my real name. Well, Dore,
> actually."
> 
> She looked around the den. "Gee, what a lovely place you have here." She stood
> up and walked about. "I mean, it's really well decorated. Nice furnishings.
> They remind me of the auction at MGM."
> 
> Harold swallowed.
> 
> "Do you play?" she asked, running her hand along the piano.
> 
> "No," said Harold. "I'm learning the banjo. Do you?"
> 
> "Oh, I studied the guitar. I had a folk-singing class. But I had to give it
> up. Gave me calluses on my fingers. As an actress, I can't afford to have a
> tarnished instrument."
> 
> "No," said Harold. "I suppose not." This wasn't easy, he decided. He tried
> again. "Do you do a lot of acting?"
> 
> "Oh, sure. I practice every day. That's the Sunshine Method: Keep your
> instrument finely tuned. Is this your father?" she asked, picking up a
> photograph of General Ball.
> 
> "No. My uncle."
> 
> "He's in the Army! I do so like the military, don't you? Those uniforms make
> men look so virile."
> 
> Harold grimaced.
> 
> "I did 'What Price Glory?' in summer stock," she said, putting down the
> photograph. "A great production. I played Charmaine--with a French accent."
> 
> She went over to the mantelpiece. Harold sat on the couch, patting his thighs.
> 
> "Gee, what a lovely collection of knives. Hunting knives, soldier's knives,
> antiques. We had a display like this when we did Ibsen's 'The Seagull.' May I
> see them?
> 
> Harold took a deep breath. "That's it," he said.
> 
> "That's what?" asked Sunshine.
> 
> Harold came over to her. "That's a really good collection of knives," he said.
> "Allow me." He took one down. "Now, this knife is very interesting. It's a
> hara-kiri blade."
> 
> "Ohhhh," cooed Sunshine. "What's hara-kiri?"
> 
> "An ancient Japanese ceremony."
> 
> "Like a tea ceremony?"
> 
> "No. Like this." With an Oriental scream, he plunged the knife in his belly
> and dropped to his knees. Bleeding profusely, he continued the upper cut, the
> side cut, and the gouging, then tumbled forward with a terminal shudder.
> 
> Sunshine dropped to her knees, wide-eyed. "Oh, Harold," she cried. "That was
> marvelous! It had the ring of truth. Harold. Please. Who did you study with?"
> 
> She drew back. "I'm sorry, Harold," she whispered, self-reproachfully. "I
> don't want to break into your private moment. I know how exhausting true
> emotion can be. I played Juliet at the Sunshine Playhouse. Louie thought it
> was my best performance."
> 
> Harold heard her throw off her hat and rearrange her hair. In seconds she had
> transformed herself into Juliet, and, as her unbelieving Romeo listened, she
> acted out her final scene in that tragic drama.
> 
> "What's here?" she cried. "A cup!" Closed in my true love's hand? Poison, I
> see, hath been his timeless end. Oh, churl!" She whacked him. "Drunk all, and
> left no friendly drop to help me after? I will kiss thy lips."
> 
> Harold opened his eyes, terrified.
> 
> "Happily, some poison yet doth hang on them, to make me die with a
> restorative."
> 
> She kissed Harold, who immediately got up.
> 
> "Thy lips are warm," whispered Sunshine to the gallery.
> 
> Harold backed away, knocking over the telephone table.
> 
> "Yea, noise!" shouted Sunshine. "Then I'll be brief." She picked up the knife.
> 
> "Oh, happy dagger!" she cried. She took a moment out to test it, pushing the
> blade into the handle and seeing how it squirted out blood. Satisfied, she
> continued.
> 
> "Oh, happy dagger!" she cried. "This is thy sheath." She pounded her chest.
> Then, with a mighty thrust and an accompanying gulp, she stabbed herself
> between the beads and breasts.
> 
> She paused to catch her breath. "There," she whispered, clutching the knife to
> her bosom and staggering to the couch. "There rest..." She collapsed across
> the couch, languidly draping her hair over the end.
> 
> "And...let...me...DIE!" With a last toss of the head, she expired, the bloody
> dagger clenched in her bloody fist and stuck in her bloody chest.
> 
> Harold had never seen anything like it. He wandered around the couch,
> bewildered.
> 
> Mrs. Chasen entered with a tray of drinks, took one glance at the couch, and
> dropped them all.
> 
> She looked at her son and flung out an accusing arm. "Harold!" she cried,
> exasperated. "That was your last date!"


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## ERSanders

It has to be Clouseau in the "Pink Panther Strikes Again":

Clouseau: Does your dog bite?
Hotel Clerk: No.
bowing down to pet the dog
Dog barks and bites Clouseau in the hand
Clouseau: I thought you said your dog did not bite!
Hotel Clerk: That is not my dog.


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## jrjcd

pretty much any scene in "young frankenstien"...

my, what big knockers!!!!
why, thank you, herr frankenstien


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## Steveox

I like History of the world part I








When the begining of the movie they showed early man and then they said this,,,
The First Marrage ( A woman hitting a man with a club) 
And the first homosexual marrage ( a man hitting another man with a club) HaHaHa! :lol:


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## HappyGoLucky

Steveox said:


> I like History of the world part I
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> When the begining of the movie they showed early man and then they said this,,,
> The First Marrage ( A woman hitting a man with a club)
> And the first homosexual marrage ( a man hitting another man with a club) HaHaHa! :lol:


Don't get saucy with me, Bernaise!


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## Tusk

Bruce Almighty when he is running with the dog to get outside and the dog is peeing on everything. When he gets outside and the dog won't go, he says "OK, let's go back inside and take a s***!"


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## Guest

Something about Mary

Hitchhiker: "Seven's the key number here. Think about it. Seven elevens, seven dwarves, seven man, that's the number! Seven chipmunks twirling on a branch, eating lots of sunflowers on my Uncle's ranch. You know that old children's tale from the sea. It's like you're dreaming about Gorgonzola cheese when it's clearly Brie time baby! Step into my office."

Ted: "Why?"

Hitchhiker: "'Cos you're f***ing fired!"

Love it.


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