# Bumper Stickers



## John Corn (Mar 21, 2002)

Subject: Bumper Stickers

If You Drink, Don't Park. Accidents Cause People.

Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?

If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.

My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.

Thank You For Pot Smoking.

If At First You Don't Succeed, Blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling!

Impotence Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".

If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.

Horn Broken ... Watch For Finger.

It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger.

If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My a**

You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me

The Earth Is Full - Go Home

I Have The Body Of A God .... Buddha

This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me

So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time

Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?

The Face Is Familiar, But I Can't Quite Remember My Name

Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway

Illiterate? Write For Help

Honk If Anything Falls Off

Cover Me. I'm Changing Lanes

He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit

I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person

You! Out Of The Gene Pool!

I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To

Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket?

Fight Crime Shoot Back!

If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over...[Seen upside down on a jeep]

Remember Folks Stop Lights Timed For 35 mph Are Also Timed for 70 mph.

Guys No Shirt, No Service - Gals No Shirt, No Charge

If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?

Necrophilia That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One.

Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel

Boldly Going Nowhere

Cat The Other White Meat

Caution - Driver Legally Blonde

Don't Be Sexist - *****es Hate That

Heart Attacks .... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.

Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired >From A Car Window

How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is lost?

If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.

Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch

Saw It ... Wanted It ... Had A Fit ... Got It!

My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.

GROW YOUR OWN DOPE --- PLANT A MAN.

All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.

Some people are alive only because it is illegal to shoot them

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

WANTED Meaningful overnight relationship.

BEER It's not just for breakfast anymore.

So you're a feminist...Isn't that precious.

I need someone really bad...Are you really bad?

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.


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## John Walsh (Apr 22, 2002)

my favorite

If you can read this the ***** fell off

motorcycle t-shirt


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