# Blonde Jokes



## Unthinkable (Sep 13, 2002)

AUTO REPAIR

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic > it
died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She
says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor." She
asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very
nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys 
would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

EXPOSURE

A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right
breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are
you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"
She says, "Why, officer?" "Because your breast is hanging out." he says.
She looks down and says, "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus again!"

RIVER WALK

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get 
to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the river then down the 
river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."


KNITTING

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the 
wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights
and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and 
yelled, "PULL OVER!" "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"


IN A VACUUM

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

FINAL EXAM

The blonde reported for her university final examination that consists of yes/no type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes and then, in a fit of inspiration, takes out her purse, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin, marking the answer sheet: Yes, for Heads, and No, for Tails. Within half an hour she is all done, 
whereas the rest of the class is still sweating it out. During the last few 
minutes she is seen desperately throwing the coin, muttering and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on. "I finished the exam in half an hour, but now I'm rechecking my answers."


FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!


There was a blonde woman who was having financial troubles so she decided
to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note:
"I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park tomorrow at 7 A.M. Signed, The Blonde

She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go straight home. The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed. Inside the bag was the following note....

"Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another!"


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## Steve Mehs (Mar 21, 2002)

:lol:


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## Frank Z (Nov 15, 2002)

As a blonde American I must say that I resemble these jokes!!


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## Martyva (Apr 23, 2002)

What do you call twenty-five bonds in a freezer? Frosted flakes


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## BobMurdoch (Apr 24, 2002)

I have several of these as my wife is blonde, although she is more of the Murphy Brown-esque blonde mold rather than the Suzanne Somers variety, but it is fun kidding her nonetheless.

A few other favorites.......

1. What do you call a dead blonde in a closet? The 1996 Hide and Seek Champion.

2. A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead, all pregnant, are at the gynocologist's office. Citing the old wives' tale, the redhead proudly declares that since her husband was on top during the consumation, that she figured that they were having a boy. Equally proud, the brunette says that she was on top and that they were therefore probably going to have a girl.

Right at that moment the blonde woman starts sobbing. The two other ladies are concerned and ask her what's wrong.

Then the blonde said, "I'm going to have a PUPPY!!!! <WAAAAA>"


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## Dmitriy (Mar 24, 2002)

:lol: 

I needed a good laugh. Thanks.


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## BobMurdoch (Apr 24, 2002)

> _Originally posted by BobMurdoch _
> *I have several of these as my wife is blonde, although she is more of the Murphy Brown-esque blonde mold rather than the Suzanne Somers variety, but it is fun kidding her nonetheless.
> 
> A few other favorites.......
> ...


Hmmmm. It seems with my 250th post I've just moved up to Godfather from Legend. What's next?


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## John Corn (Mar 21, 2002)

:lol:


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## Nick (Apr 23, 2002)

> _Originally posted by BobMurdoch _
> *
> 
> Hmmmm. It seems with my 250th post I've just moved up to Godfather from Legend. What's next? *


251


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