# Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter



## Laverne (Feb 17, 2005)

I was looking for something else. Came across this. It's a little early for us to be worrying about this yet, but it reminded me of some of the things you guys have been saying... :grin: 
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Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.


Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.


Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open-minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.


Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.


Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."


Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.


Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?


Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka -- zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.


Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dim-witted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.


Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car -- there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.


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## JM Anthony (Nov 16, 2003)

As a father with two rather attractive teenage daughters, I can relate.


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## zman977 (Nov 9, 2003)

I need to send this to by brother in law. When my niece gets to dateing age she is going to be a knock out. He has already asked if I'll come and help clean the guns when she brings boys home. Of course being the good uncle I am I said I would.


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## Nick (Apr 23, 2002)

When my daughter was of dating age (25-35), I sat each boy down for a fatherly chat before their first date. We discussed important social issues such as the need for manners, respect, restraint and self-control. I would tell them that one of us had to exert self-control, but it when it came to protecting my daughter and defending her virtue, I would probably not be the one demonstrating any restraint whatsoever, so it was up to him.

About half-way through our two-hour chat, I would casually direct the boy's attention to the old 12 gauge rabbit-ears shotgun above the fireplace, over the stuffed animal heads mounted across the breadth of my 12' wide fieldstone chimney. I would go into detail about how I shot the animals and sawed off their heads for the taxidermist to do his thing. 

Then I would ask the boys to voluntary submit to a battery of tests, including, but not limited to psychological testing and in-depth physical examinations, with an emphasis on serological analysis and proctological probes. Finally, I would invite these young men to come down to my basement workshop to see my collection of power tools and to sign a waiver of indemnity if, in the event any of their body parts were to accidentally get caught in my vise (not vice ). and a power saw were to accidentally slip and fall... well, you get the idea.

By the end of these friendly two-hour chats, my beautiful daughter was finally ready, but for some strange reason her once-eager dates were nowhere to be found.  :whatdidid


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## Bogy (Mar 23, 2002)

Nick said:


> When my daughter was of dating age (25-35), I sat each boy down for a fatherly chat before their first date. We discussed important social issues such as the need for manners, respect, restraint and self-control. I would tell them that one of us had to exert self-control, but it when it came to protecting my daughter and defending her virtue, I would probably not be the one demonstrating any restraint whatsoever, so it was up to him.
> 
> About half-way through our two-hour chat, I would casually direct the boy's attention to the old 12 gauge rabbit-ears shotgun above the fireplace, over the stuffed animal heads mounted across the breadth of my 12' wide fieldstone chimney. I would go into detail about how I shot the animals and sawed off their heads for the taxidermist to do his thing.
> 
> ...


Nick, I just cannot understand how somebody who is normally as straightforward as you would be so subtle about things. My daughter and her boyfriend were in her bedroom. I walked in, pumped a shell into the chamber of my 12 gage, and asked him if he had seen my shotgun.

It is of course also the father's job to have a little talk with the groom before a message. Since my dad was in his 70's and in ill health when we performed my sister's ceremony, I took over that job. I told him it would be very good for him if he never made my sister unhappy. Unfortunately, with my surgeries I have not been able to get to New York, and he doesn't seem to want to come here anymore. Someday, someday. I'm patient. Allthough if anyone has a talent for hacking, turning his credit rating to crap would hurt him the most.


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## cdru (Dec 4, 2003)

JM Anthony said:


> As a father with two rather attractive teenage daughters, I can relate.


As a father of three boys, I'm glad I won't have to relate.


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## Laverne (Feb 17, 2005)

cdru said:


> As a father of three boys, I'm glad I won't have to relate.


Cdru, fathers of girls are VERY serious about that whole shotgun thing. You will need to "relate" this to your boys, for their own safety.


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## JM Anthony (Nov 16, 2003)

Laverne said:


> Cdru, fathers of girls are VERY serious about that whole shotgun thing. You will need to "relate" this to your boys, for their own safety.


While I may not be packin' a shotgun, but I take my dauthers' safety and well being very seriously. I make it a practice to wait up until my daughters are home after dates. I also make it a practice to talk with them when they get back. Our daughters are always welcome to bring their boyfriends home, and we'll give them some space, but we're never that far away.


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## Bogy (Mar 23, 2002)

cdru said:


> As a father of three boys, I'm glad I won't have to relate.


For your peace of mind, not to mention the peace of mind of the fathers of teenage girls, I would suggest you look into male chastity belts. Its about time the fathers of the boys take some responsibility. It might even save their lives.


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## cdru (Dec 4, 2003)

Seeming that they are 2, 3, and 4 currently, I feel it's safe to hold off on the birds-n-bees lecture, the male chastity belts, as well as worrying about their date's father.

My oldest does have a wonderful ability to attract and hold the attention of any good looking blond, regardless of age (20-40 seems to be his sweet spot). My youngest usually also figures out a way to stick his hand down the blouse of whoever is holding him, or at least grope them. You know, on second thought, it's probably not too early to start talking to them.

Getting back to the original topic a little more directly, here is my favorite Mastercard spoof commercial. Warning, link may be inappropriate for our younger audiences, so at least turn down the volume.


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## Laverne (Feb 17, 2005)

cdru said:


> ....here is my favorite Mastercard spoof commercial...


 !rolling :thats:


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## Dang The Hung (May 8, 2005)

This is exactly the reason I don't date American Women anymore. Because of their billy bad arse fathers and the train of though that their daughter is the center of the universe and everyone else should revolve around them.

The last American Girl I dated, her father pulled this same stunt with me by showing me his trusty 12 guage pump. I simply pulled my 9mm glock out from my trousers and said "show me yours and I will show you mine". Needless to say after that her father made her break the relationship off with me. I get enough threats from scum at work, I don't have to put with it from some soccer mom's husband.

Now I am happily married to an Asian woman whose family welcome me with open arms and didn't bombard me with this false bravado crap.


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## Bogy (Mar 23, 2002)

Dang The Hung said:


> This is exactly the reason I don't date American Women anymore. Because of their billy bad arse fathers and the train of though that their daughter is the center of the universe and everyone else should revolve around them.
> 
> The last American Girl I dated, her father pulled this same stunt with me by showing me his trusty 12 guage pump. I simply pulled my 9mm glock out from my trousers and said "show me yours and I will show you mine". Needless to say after that her father made her break the relationship off with me. I get enough threats from scum at work, I don't have to put with it from some soccer mom's husband.
> 
> Now I am happily married to an Asian woman whose family welcome me with open arms and didn't bombard me with this false bravado crap.


I'll meet your 9mm Glock with my 9mm Browning, raise with my 12 g. plus a 30.06, and a very protective "little" brother. Damn right my little girls are the center of the universe, and anyone who wants a relationship with one of them better treat them as such.


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## ntexasdude (Jan 23, 2005)

As the father of a very attractive 15 year old, I can relate. I wouldn't ever actually threaten a boy but I do let 'em know who's boss.


This reminds me of a true story that happned several years ago to a friend. He had a 17 year old daughter that was dating another 17 y/o. Somehow word got back to dad that he was cruising the drag with beer and the girl in the car. The next time the boy came over to pickup girlfriend the dad met him in the front yard. He got in the boy's face and told him if he ever found out he was driving around again with alcohol and his daughter he was going to whip his a$$. The boy got all scared and said "You can't do that, they'll throw you in jail" To which the dad replied "I don't care, I've got enough money to get out" Hilarious. :lol:


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## cdru (Dec 4, 2003)

ntexasdude said:


> The next time the boy came over to pickup girlfriend the dad met him in the front yard. He got in the boy's face and told him if he ever found out he was driving around again with alcohol and his daughter he was going to whip his a$$. The boy got all scared and said "You can't do that, they'll throw you in jail" To which the dad replied "I don't care, I've got enough money to get out"


That reminds me of my favorite line from Fried Greet Tomatoes:

[Evelyn is cut off in a parking lot]
Evelyn Couch: Hey! I was waiting for that spot!
Girl #1: Face it lady, we're younger and faster!
[Evelyn rear-ends the other car six times]
Girl #1: What are you DOING?
Girl #2: Are you CRAZY?
Evelyn Couch: Face it, I'm older and I have more insurance!


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## Nick (Apr 23, 2002)

Dang The Hung said:


> ...I...pulled my 9mm glock out from my trousers and said "show me yours and I will show you mine"...


Well, Dang, Mr. Hung, and I thought _I_ was intense! I will see your marginally-effective nine, and raise you with my sequentially-numbered gold-inlaid presentation-grade .45 cal. dueling flint-lock Glock, w/hand-rubbed gold-and-black-walnut grips - a loving gift from my two sons, both in law enforcement.


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## Dang The Hung (May 8, 2005)

Bogy said:


> I'll meet your 9mm Glock with my 9mm Browning, raise with my 12 g. plus a 30.06, and a very protective "little" brother. Damn right my little girls are the center of the universe, and anyone who wants a relationship with one of them better treat them as such.


Brave words from a self-admitted liberal. I am suprised you know how to even use them, but is that before or after you load them with the "cop killer" bullets or the "dum dum" rounds 



> Well, Dang, Mr. Hung, and I thought I was intense! I will see your marginally-effective nine, and raise you with my sequentially-numbered gold-inlaid presentation-grade .45 cal. dueling flint-lock Glock, w/hand-rubbed gold-and-black-walnut grips - a loving gift from my two sons, both in law enforcement.


Marginally effective? Can I shoot you in the chest and then you get back up and tell me how marginally effective my nine is? Well then, you better hit me with the one shot you got because I will be dancin. :lol:


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## Five Hole (Jun 23, 2002)

ntexasdude said:


> The boy got all scared and said "You can't do that, they'll throw you in jail" To which the dad replied "I don't care, I've got enough money to get out" Hilarious. :lol:


Reminds me of a joke by comedian Carlos Mencia from one of his shows. He told his mom that if she ever hits him again he is going to call the police. His mom put a phone in front of him and said before he calls the police, he better call an ambulance and tell them that there is going to be a dead little boy when they get there. :lol:


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## Bogy (Mar 23, 2002)

Dang The Hung said:


> Brave words from a self-admitted liberal. I am suprised you know how to even use them, but is that before or after you load them with the "cop killer" bullets or the "dum dum" rounds


Conservative stereotypes live on. :lol:
I took the NRA gun safety course when I was 14, and received my South Dakota hunting license that year. In SD, at least at that time you could not be issued a license until the age of 14, with the certificate from the course. So began my legal hunting career 36 years ago. I have owned and used a number of different guns over the years. Many "liberals" enjoy hunting and own guns. After all, with the way we have screwed up the ecology it is necessary for compassionate liberals to maintain the proper balance of wildlife deer and small game have few natural predators remaining. Being hit by a car or dying from starvation or disease is no blessing. Yes, I and many liberals have guns, know how to use them, and have no desire to remove guns from those responsible enough to know how to use them.

As for people who use "cop killer" or "dum-dum" bullets, may they roast in hell. Particularly if a cop is killed with one of them. When hunting deer I want the bullet to go through cleanly, leaving two nice holes to let the blood out. I would prefer the deer not even realize that anything more than a fly bite occurred. I would like the deer to stand there calmly and bleed to death, without trauma. If I have to shoot you, I want you to bleed freely, without major trauma, so you will have considerable time to contemplate what stupid thing you did to deserve what you got as they take you to the hospital. :lol:


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## Nick (Apr 23, 2002)

Bogy said:


> ...If I have to shoot you, I want you to bleed freely, without major trauma, so you will have considerable time to contemplate what stupid thing you did to deserve what you got as they take you to the hospital. :lol:


...as opposed to fervently praying for his eternal salvation while he slowly bleeds out and soaks your bedroom carpet with his blood. Oh, and don't forget to repair all the bullet holes in the wall behind where the perp was, then (not than) call 911 (not 411), but not before you finish cleaning your weapon. :lol:


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## Bogy (Mar 23, 2002)

Nick said:


> ...as opposed to fervently praying for his eternal salvation while he slowly bleeds out and soaks your bedroom carpet with his blood. Oh, and don't forget to repair all the bullet holes in the wall behind where the perp was, then (not than) call 911 (not 411), but not before you finish cleaning your weapon. :lol:


I believe in allowing time for repentence. :angel:


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## RJS1111111 (Mar 23, 2002)

Bogy said:


> I believe in allowing time for repentence. :angel:


...with a gentle reminder that time is running out!


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## jmbrooks (Jan 11, 2004)

Dang The Hung said:


> This is exactly the reason I don't date American Women anymore......


Yeah...........that's the reason



Dang The Hung said:


> The last American Girl I dated, her father pulled this same stunt with me by showing me his trusty 12 guage pump. I simply pulled my 9mm glock out from my trousers and ......


I'm sure it was 9mm, but I think you misspelled the next word. :sure:

(Sorry bro, but that was just tooooo easy. Ya gotta be careful what you say in here)


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## n8dagr8 (Aug 14, 2004)

jmbrooks said:


> I'm sure it was 9mm, but I think you misspelled the next word. :sure:


and I remember when they use to say "welcome to DBSTalk". :lol:


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## Bogy (Mar 23, 2002)

n8dagr8 said:


> and I remember when they use to say "welcome to DBSTalk". :lol:


That was before Mr. Hung walked in here and immediately started pulling things out of his pants. :lol:


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## Laverne (Feb 17, 2005)

Bogy said:


> That was before Mr. Hung walked in here and immediately started pulling things out of his pants. :lol:


I concur. IMHO, all _4_ of Mr. Hung's posts have been at least semi-inflammatory.


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## JM Anthony (Nov 16, 2003)

Laverne said:


> I concur. IMHO, all _4_ of Mr. Hung's posts have been at least semi-inflammatory.


I couldn't agree more. He either got off on the wrong Web site, wrong planet, or both.


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## BobMurdoch (Apr 24, 2002)

Back to the original Laverne post........

An addendum (personalized for me)...

Rule #11....... I work in construction and know where there are ALWAYS foundations being poured. I can have you disappear where no one will find you until they knock down the building in 100 years. Oh, and I'm from New Jersey. That Sopranos show? They only show the lightweight stuff........... Wanna go Bowling? You can borrow my bowling bag.... I'm done with it now.....


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## Dang The Hung (May 8, 2005)

> Conservative stereotypes live on.


Maybe because that one has a little bit of truth to it!? You claim to have taken a firearm course, well I think you should get your money back seeing how you have been taught nothing but mis-information.



> When hunting deer I want the bullet to go through cleanly, leaving two nice holes to let the blood out. I would prefer the deer not even realize that anything more than a fly bite occurred. I would like the deer to stand there calmly and bleed to death, without trauma


Ok, you clearly don't know jack when it comes to hunting or maybe it is a poor attempt on your part to be facetious  Anyone who knows any_real_ knowledge about firearms and hunting knows that you should use bullets that rapidly expand thus causing more tissue damage, thus causing more bleedout. Using bullets that result in just a pencil hole in and out do nothing more than injure the animal to where it will run off and die a slow and painful death. Speaking of which, have you ever been shot before? I can assure you the sensation is a bit more intense than a "fly-bite".



> As for people who use "cop killer" or "dum-dum" bullets, may they roast in hell.


But yet you claim to want to shoot me with the very same kind of bullet. After all a "cop killer" bullet is nothing more than a metal jacketed non expanding bullet. You know, the kind of bullet that most people target practice with and the kind the military uses because it's primary purpose is to penetrate light body armor and injure an enemy combantant rather than kill. Because it requires more soliders to carry an injured off the field than a dead one. But no, you didn't know that because you recieved your firearms training from the brady bunch. I am sure you will be a real proud father when you shoot me with one of those mythical "cop killer" bullets and it zips right through me and the wall and ends up hitting your self-centered brat in the next room. Way to go dad! :nono2:

Typical liberal nonsense created by the liberal media. I guess when they termed the word "dum-dum" they didn't realize they were speaking of themsleves. Too bad ingnorance isn't painful, because all the liberals in the world would be writhing and screaming in pain.



> I'm sure it was 9mm, but I think you misspelled the next word.


Not to worry, I am sure your daughter felt me.



> I concur. IMHO, all 4 of Mr. Hung's posts have been at least semi-inflammatory


I am not here to share your viewpoints. I am here to share mine. You can either agree or disagree. And if your disagreement causes an inflamtion of your hemmorroids, then oh well T.F.S.



> I couldn't agree more. He either got off on the wrong Web site, wrong planet, or both


I wish I was from another planet. From some of the stuff I have seen people do, I am ashamed to be a human being at times.


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## Bogy (Mar 23, 2002)

Dang The Hung said:


> Maybe because that one has a little bit of truth to it!? You claim to have taken a firearm course, well I think you should get your money back seeing how you have been taught nothing but mis-information.
> 
> Ok, you clearly don't know jack when it comes to hunting or maybe it is a poor attempt on your part to be facetious  Anyone who knows any_real_ knowledge about firearms and hunting knows that you should use bullets that rapidly expand thus causing more tissue damage, thus causing more bleedout. Using bullets that result in just a pencil hole in and out do nothing more than injure the animal to where it will run off and die a slow and painful death. Speaking of which, have you ever been shot before? I can assure you the sensation is a bit more intense than a "fly-bite".


You don't know jack when it comes to hunting. I don't want the deer to run off, and if it does run I don't want it to run far. The best is when the deer jumps when the bullet enters and exits and then goes back to grazing, bleeding until it passes out. Next is if it runs a short distance and collapses. You want to give the deer about 10 minutes and then go find the body. I like my venison nice and tender, so I don't want a big old mossy back rack, and I don't want it running and pumping itself full of adrenalin. You ever bow hunt. Same principle. You don't blow a big hole in the deer, using razor sharp points you create an opening for the blood.

You are probably one of the idiots who shoots a big rack, drives around with it in the back of his pickup for a week, finally drops it off to be processed, and then can't figure out why it tastes like crap.

Now that the hunting lesson is over, lets get back to the topic, which is why we are all glad you arn't interested in our daughters. :lol:


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## Dang The Hung (May 8, 2005)

Yeah those deer hunting video games make it really exciting doesn't it?

Now back to the real world. I have shot many a deer with lead soft-point to a hollow point round with a .223Rem, .243Win, .30-06Sprg, and even a .300 Weatherby Mag for a 350 yard shot. Either A) The deer dropped instantly in its tracks because the bullet severed its neck or upper spine. Instant death, deer didn't know what hit him or B) the deer jumped and ran about 50 feet and collapsed and died from a shot to the heart or lung. The way I place the bullet it always leaves just below the shoulder leaving a hole no bigger than a golf ball and damaging little or no meat around the shoulder/leg area. Since the deer's heart is almost always obliterated when shot behind the shoulder, there is nothing pumping the blood, hence no adrenaline is released into the blood stream thus no tainting of the meat. That is why the deer simply trots away and collapses and is dead in under 2 minutes.



> You are probably one of the idiots who shoots a big rack, drives around with it in the back of his pickup for a week, finally drops it off to be processed, and then can't figure out why it tastes like crap.


No, it's idiots like you who shoot a big rack with a full metal jacket round and can't understand why it ran off into a thicket and now you can't find it, then I come along a week later and shoot the deer only to find out that some yahoo wounded the animal and now the meat is all bad because the wound has turn gangrenous from the pencil sized bullet hole that was supposed to bleed out the animal.



> You ever bow hunt. Same principle. You don't blow a big hole in the deer, using razor sharp points you create an opening for the blood.


And just what do you think those razor sharp points are doing when its flying through the air? Whistling Dixie? No they are spinning, so when they enter the animal the blades cut into as much tissue as possible to create more blood loss. Just like an expanding bullet or hollow point, when it enters the jacket peels back while the bullet is spinning through the animal and disrupting tissue and destroying blood vessels so it results in a faster death. Whereas a full metal jack just simply punches a hole, pushes aside any tissue or major organs, and at best may rupture a blood vessel or two before it ends up in another hunter a mile away.

Now that the _real_ world hunting lesson is over, you can go back to your video game and telling your daughter that she is a beautiful and unique little snowflake. :barf:


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## Bogy (Mar 23, 2002)

Dang The Hung said:


> Now that the _real_ world hunting lesson is over, you can go back to your video game and telling your daughter that she is a beautiful and unique little snowflake.


Both of them sure are. And either of them would drop kick a jerk like you through the doorway so fast your head couldn't keep up. Especially my dainty little 6'3" blonde Amazon. :lol:


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## ntexasdude (Jan 23, 2005)

I thought this was the "Laughter is the best medicine" forum. :icon_cry:


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## Bogy (Mar 23, 2002)

ntexasdude said:


> I thought this was the "Laughter is the best medicine" forum. :icon_cry:


Me too.


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## Danny R (Jul 5, 2002)

The world would be a happier place if you folks would just teach your daughters (especially the attractive ones) that sex is a good thing, and they should give it up freely. 



"That's what I love about high school girls. No matter how old I get, they always stay the same age." -- from the movie Dazed and Confused


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## ntexasdude (Jan 23, 2005)

Danny R said:


> The world would be a happier place if you folks would just teach your daughters (especially the attractive ones) that sex is a good thing, and they should give it up freely. .........


I'm guessing you don't have an attractive teenage daughter. :nono:


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## JM Anthony (Nov 16, 2003)

Danny R said:


> The world would be a happier place if you folks would just teach your daughters (especially the attractive ones) that sex is a good thing, and they should give it up freely. . . .


Sorry, Danny. That was only true in the 70's. Hey! Weren't you born in that decade???? :lol:


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## Bogy (Mar 23, 2002)

Danny, here's a thought. Stay in Atlanta, and away from my daughters. It might be good for your health.


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## Danny R (Jul 5, 2002)

_It might be good for your health. _

See, you folks prove my point.

Many men around the world would be extremely happy, if not for the dangers posed by overprotective fathers.

:lol:

_Weren't you born in that decade???? _

1970, but I'm the 3rd child, with two older siblings born in the early 60's.

In any case, the idea of my parents being free-lovers would shock me. They are extremely conservative. ;-)

_I'm guessing you don't have an attractive teenage daughter._

Thankfully no. I'll never have to teach a child to avoid guys like me. 

My poor brother however has 1 year old TWIN girls. He's already investing in the dungeon he plans to build. Not certain if its to lock away the girls or safely stash the remains of those who dare date them.


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## ntexasdude (Jan 23, 2005)

I have a dual chamber dungeon. One with the incinerator and one for the rest of the family. :eek2:


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## BobMurdoch (Apr 24, 2002)

Danny R said:


> _It might be good for your health. _
> 
> See, you folks prove my point.
> 
> ...


A few points.....

1. I plan on taking up the nickname "Chainsaw Murdoch" when my daughter hits the teenage years in 2013. The problem is that I KNOW what they want to do, because I used to be one of them.

2. My wife's father was a pain in the ass to get around, so I feel it is just a matter of passing on the torch.....

3. Danny R., you're slipping. It's June and you still have the same avatar. Your fans are holding out hope that you will continue to surpass your previous efforts at "brightening up the neighborhood". (Note the irony as I haven't changed mine in eons)


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## Bogy (Mar 23, 2002)

BobMurdoch said:


> A few points.....
> 
> 1. I plan on taking up the nickname "Chainsaw Murdoch" when my daughter hits the teenage years in 2013. The problem is that I KNOW what they want to do, because I used to be one of them.


Bob, you bring up a good point. I feel that dads are much more protective than moms, because they remember being teenage boys themselves. Women just don't get it that guys think about sex on an average of...oh heck, teenage boys only think about two things, food and sex. Adult men OTOH only think about sex...oh heck, all you have to do is read the threads around here to realize nothing much changes, which means we still understand teenage boys much better than they would like us to.

BTW, my father in law was a great guy, and really didn't give me any hassles.


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## BobMurdoch (Apr 24, 2002)

My father in law get along just fine as well, but that good relationship began AFTER the engagement ring showed up.... :lol:


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## ntexasdude (Jan 23, 2005)

You guys are right on. I told my wife any teenage boy who wants to date our daughter is thinking about one thing - how do I get her pants off. My wife scoffed and said "They are not". I think I rememebr sarcastically rolling my eyes and saying something like "Yeah, whatever, think what you want". Those teenage hormones are something else. :shrug:


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## ntexasdude (Jan 23, 2005)

When my wife's younger sister was getting married about 8 years ago her finacee' had the man to man talk with my father-in-law. He asked him in a very timid voice...."uh....sir....do you know anything about birth control"? To which my Phd father-in-law replied "Well let's see, I've been married for 30 years, I only have 2 children, I have a doctorate in biology and have been a college professor longer than you have been alive. Hmm...yeah, I think I know a thing or two about birth control". I always get a laugh out of that story. :lol: :lol:


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## JM Anthony (Nov 16, 2003)

. . . guys think about sex on an average of...oh heck, teenage boys only think about two things, food and sex. . . .
Yeah, and teenage girls only think about sex and how they look.

The boys who date my daughters have only a couple of initial threshold conditions to meet. Good, firm handshakes (kills my oldest when I shake her dates' hand) and good eye contact when they talk with me. If they can't pass these simple tests, they're in for a tough time.


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## Danny R (Jul 5, 2002)

_Danny R., you're slipping. It's June and you still have the same avatar. Your fans are holding out hope that you will continue to surpass your previous efforts at "brightening up the neighborhood". (Note the irony as I haven't changed mine in eons)_

Unfortunately (as the Amazing Race folks will attest), I've been extremely busy of late and turning into the proverbial "dull boy" (all work and no play)

But I finished up a major project today, have the rest of the day off. First order of business now taken care of. Its an older picture of Claudia Schiffer, but still a good one.


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## BobMurdoch (Apr 24, 2002)

Ah, much better Danny R. Thanks!


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## JM Anthony (Nov 16, 2003)

BobMurdoch said:


> Ah, much better Danny R. Thanks!


Yes, a definite keeper.


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