# The Lone Ranger & Tonto



## Nick (Apr 23, 2002)

...and you thought Tonto was the smart one 

The Lone Ranger and Tonto are camping in the desert. They set up their tent and go to sleep. Some hours later, The Lone Ranger wakes his faithful friend. "Tonto, look up and tell me what you see." Tonto replies, "Me see big sky with millions of stars, Kemo Sabi." "What does that tell you?" asks the Lone Ranger. Tonto ponders for a minute.

"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.

Chonologically it appears to be approximately quarter past three.

Theologically, it's evident that God is omnipotent and we are insignificant.

Meteorologically, it looks like we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

What big sky tell you, Kemo Sabi?"

The Lone Ranger pauses for a moment, then speaks.

"Tonto, you _dumb ass_, someone has stolen our tent!"


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## cdru (Dec 4, 2003)

I always thought it sounded better when Sherlock was asking Holmes. It just doesn't fit that Tonto speaks in poor, broken English for his first and last sentence, but in between speaks like a well educated man.


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## goodcableguy (Feb 19, 2004)

I have to warn you the Native American version of this tale is slightly different. I think the roles in the tale are reversed. Face it only a dumb white guy would shoot silver bullets. My money says Tonto had to tell Kemo Sabi somebody stole our tent.


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## Bogy (Mar 23, 2002)

I got this just a few days ago in an email, but with the roles reversed.


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## Laverne (Feb 17, 2005)

Bogy said:


> I got this just a few days ago in an email, but with the roles reversed.


Your friends sent you the PC version, Bogy! :lol:


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## Geronimo (Mar 23, 2002)

Something tells me this is not a Native American joke. 

For one thing Kemosabe (the way it is generally spelled by European Americans) is one word. There are a lot of stories about what it means. The nicest is "trusty scout". There are however some alternative theories that do not involve scouting. And while the old Gary Larson cartoon was probably not correct about what it means maybe it should have been.

I never cared much for ethnic jokes. It is not the politically incorrect stuff that bothers me it is just that I generally don't find them all that humorous. This falls into that category. Harmless but silly.

Here is real knee slapper that you might hear ona reservation



A young Cheyenne man went to Chinatown in San Francisco. While there he found a bronze rat at a thrift store. "How much do you want for the rat" he asked. "$3 for the rat and $1000 for the story that goes with it" said the shopkeeper. "Just give me the rat," the Cheyenne said, and then he left with it. As he walked down the street he noticed a couple of rats following him. As he walked further, more and more rats started chasing him. By the time he got to the bay, there were thousands of rats chasing him. So he climbed up a pole and threw the bronze rat into the water. To his amazement, all the rats jumped into the water. 
The Cheyenne then returned to the thrift store. "Ahh" the shopkeeper said. "Now you would like to hear the story?" 
"No" said the Cheyenne, "I just came back to see if you had any bronze white men!"


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## JBKing (Mar 23, 2002)

:lol: Chief!

Wasn't the original post joke the one that was supposedly the funniest joke ever (as determined by a computer, or poll, or something like that)? Too lazy to research right now! 

I heard the Sherlock Holmes/Watson version. Still a good joke!


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## Nick (Apr 23, 2002)

I like ethnic humor. It has a flavor not found in most other forms of humor. I think my appreciation for ethnic humor has its roots in the "Moron" jokes I learned as a child. As an sub-species, morons have managed to survive to this day, and, in fact, have proliferated quite successfully.

Chief, I could whine about your use of the white man as the butt of your cruel "rat" joke, but, frankly, I really don't care.  I am more concerned about whether Kemo Sabi or Kimosabi is two words or one. I remember, as a kid, we played _"cowboys and indians" _ as well as _"cops & robbers"_.

Afterward, we all went home, still pals.


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## TNGTony (Mar 23, 2002)

The joke in spanish Kemosabe is very close in pronounciation to "que no sabe" (who doesn't know)

As most already know "tonto" is the spanish word for "dummy". So the simple lines:
-What do you see Tonto?
-Looks like a fire kemosabe.
takes on a little diffeerent tone.
-What do you see dummy?
-Looks like a fire he who doesn't know.

See ya
Tony


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## FTA Michael (Jul 21, 2002)

The Straight Dope contends that whatever the twisted history of the radio-program invention "Kemosabe" (it came from the name of a kids' camp in Michigan, which came from ...?), it definitely didn't come from the Spanish "que no sabe". Me, all I know is what I read. 

http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a4_061.html


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