# No funny joke



## Nick (Apr 23, 2002)

There was supposed to be a funny joke here, but somebody didn't post it.

If you know a humorous story or a have good joke, why not share the laughs by taking a moment to pass it on. There is always room for one more and we need the yucks! 

Thanks a bunch! :wave:

(Even if you're not registered yet, you are always free to express yourself at DBSTalk.Com.)


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## Jim Parker (Aug 12, 2003)

Three brothers bought a cattle ranch. It was located in a horse shoe shaped canyon, with high white cliffs. The sunshine reflected off of the cliffs and heated up the pastures in the valley. 

They were trying to come up with a name for the ranch when thier father suggested "Focus".

"Why Focus?", asked the oldest son.

"Because", replied the father, "That is where the sons raise meat".


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## Danny R (Jul 5, 2002)

Had to reread that one a few times before I finally got the joke.


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## Jim Parker (Aug 12, 2003)

Don't feel bad. I have had to explain that joke to more people than got it.  Still, it is a good pun. If anybody doesn't get it, I will glad explain. Just ask.


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## n0qcu (Mar 23, 2002)

Jim Parker said:


> Don't feel bad. I have had to explain that joke to more people than got it.  Still, it is a good pun. If anybody doesn't get it, I will glad explain. Just ask.


OK, I am asking.


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## Jim Parker (Aug 12, 2003)

Think optics; focus, as in where the sun's rays meet. And, of course, a ranch, where the sons raise meat.  

I was watching a show on crabs Saturday. They were talking about the male fiddler crab (IIRC) that has one huge claw. The crab was trying to get a female into it's tunnel, but the tunnel was too small for both of them. I turned to my wife and said "That crab obviously suffers from clawstraphobia." :lol: She's used to the puns, but that one got a groan out of her.


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## Frank Z (Nov 15, 2002)

A guy comes home from work early and tells his wife that he'd just been fired from his job at the pickle factory.

The wife asks why he was fired and the husband tells her his boss caught him with his tallywacker in the Pickle Processor.

The wife ask what happen to the processor and he replies that she got fired too.


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## Nick (Apr 23, 2002)

From now on he'll be jerkin' his gherkin


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## Frank Z (Nov 15, 2002)

A man and a woman, who have never met before, find themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two are tired and fall asleep quickly...he in the upper bunk and she in the lower. 
At 1:00 AM, he leans over and gently wakes the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold." 
"I have a better idea," she replies.” Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married." 
"Wow! That's a great idea!!" he exclaims. 
"Good," she replies. "Get your own darn blanket!" 
After a moment of silence, he farted.


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## Frank Z (Nov 15, 2002)

The local saloon was fairly loud and rowdy until a 3-legged dog walked in and said "I'm looking for the man that shot my paw."


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## Unclejeff (Mar 10, 2004)

What did the the very last lemming say to the one just ahead of him?

"I hear the going gets real easy up at the top of the hill......"


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## Jim Parker (Aug 12, 2003)

!rolling Why we have two hands. :rolling:


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## Jim Parker (Aug 12, 2003)

OK, 'fess up. The best use of a computer is to play games. What's your streak of wins in Freecell? My home PC has 35 and my office PC had 83. Alright, 83 freecell game wins in a row without a loss. Anybody beat that? On scouts honor of course.  

PS I am my own boss, and sometimes it does get slow in the winter, so no snide comments, please. :lol:


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## Nick (Apr 23, 2002)

Jim, since I retired I've been my own boss too.  :lol:

Here are my thoughts about you and your obsession with Freecell:

---------------
Before spell check: awsum dood an dere I thawt the bestist use
of a puter was lookin at nasti pichers of nekkid wimmen

After spell check: Awesome, dude...and there I thought the best
use of a computer was looking at nasty pictures of naked women.

After British grammar check: That is a considerable accomplishment,
old chap. Frankly, I was laboring under the mistaken impression that
the highest and best use of an electronic computing device was to retain,
and subsequently covertly display summarily disgusting images of rather
attractive young ladies who are bereft of proper attire.

-------------
.
.
.


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## Jim Parker (Aug 12, 2003)

No, games are first, your use will cum in second. (No need for a spell check on that sentence) :lol: Besides, that's what channel 496 is for.


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## aid (Jul 21, 2004)

Hear a guy say at a party "If masterbation was a felony, I'd be a LIFER"...aid :hurah:


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