# I know this is old, but it's still funny...



## jodyguercio (Aug 16, 2007)

The Man Rules*******************
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally , the guys' side of the story
( I must admit, it's pretty good)


We always hear
'the rules'
From the female side
Now here are the rules from the male side


These are our rules!
Please note... they are all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE!




1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one! Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. ! We have NO idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really!

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.


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## davring (Jan 13, 2007)

Since I prefer not to sleep on the couch, I don't think I'll show this to my other half


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## jodyguercio (Aug 16, 2007)

davring said:


> Since I prefer not to sleep on the couch, I don't think I'll show this to my other half


Good call


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## Upstream (Jul 4, 2006)

jodyguercio said:


> 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. ! We have NO idea what mauve is.


Some engineer came up with a color system where every color gets a number. The system is called Pantone Matching System, or PMS. I have a pretty good idea what prompted him to develop the system.


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## Nick (Apr 23, 2002)

davring said:


> Since I prefer not to sleep on the couch, I
> don't think I'll show this to my other half





> Sentiment echoed by *jodyguercio*
> Good call!


Kitty-whipped _WIMPS!_ :lol:


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## fluffybear (Jun 19, 2004)

My wife was not real happy about these rules and tonight I will be sleeping on the couch! 

BTW, So will the wife. We just finished painting our bedroom and it was either put up with the paint fumes or sleep on the sofa bed


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## coolguy426 (Jul 26, 2008)

haha this is great!


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## koji68 (Jun 21, 2004)

jodyguercio said:


> 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.


Or wait until I hit pause.

Just an update for the DVR era.


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## fluffybear (Jun 19, 2004)

koji68 said:


> Or wait until I hit pause.
> 
> Just an update for the DVR era.


Nah! Then they would expect you to listen to them and possibly go and do it now!

Make 'em wait for the commercial and hopefully by then they would have forgotten what they want to say or better yet done it themselves..


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## veryoldschool (Dec 10, 2006)

fluffybear said:


> Make 'em wait for the commercial and hopefully by then they would have forgotten.....


dreamer.


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## smiddy (Apr 5, 2006)

I think that the person that put this together oringinally had to really think about these for quite a while. Too funny really.


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