# Words of Wisdom



## Nick (Apr 23, 2002)

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. 
Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. 
Do not walk beside me either. 
Just pretty much leave me alone.

It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your 
neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

Sex is like air -- it's not important unless you aren't getting any.

*No one is listening until you fart*.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. 
That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away, 
and you have their shoes.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you.

Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. 
Teach him how to fish, he will sit in a boat
and drink beer all day.

If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was worth it.

Don't worry. It only seems kinky the first time.

Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from 
bad judgment.

There are two theories about arguing with women. Neither one works.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative.

~~~ :sure: ~~~​


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## audiomaster (Jun 24, 2004)

Socialism: 
You have two cows, you give one to your neighbor.

Communism:
You have two cows, the government takes both of them and gives you the milk!

Fascism:
You have two cows, the government takes both of them and sells you the milk!

Nazism:
You have two cows, the government takes both of them and shoots you!

Capitalism:
You have two cows, you sell one of them and buy a bull.

Bureaucracy:
You have two cows, the government takes both of them, shoots one, milks the other, and pours the milk down the drain!


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## Pink Fairy (Dec 28, 2006)

http://groups.msn.com/randomcomments

This used to be my site - well tehcnically it still is, but it has plenty of similiar stuff there.


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