# Actual Answering Machine Messages



## Unthinkable (Sep 13, 2002)

Actual answering machine messages:

10. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.

9.Hello, you are talking to a machine I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If your still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you.

8. this is not an answering machine, this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling... and I'll think about returning your call.

7. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. please speak very slowly and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

6. Hi, this is John. If you are the phone company I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you own me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have LOTS of MONEY!

5. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message.

4. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon.	If you leave a SEXY message, I'll call you sooner.

3. HI. Now you say something.

2. Hi. I'm probably home, I"m just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

AND NO. 1 -- Hello, you've reached John and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right ... real slow. So leave a message and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll call you back !!


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## John Corn (Mar 21, 2002)

:lol: those were funny


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