# Best movie quotes



## SAEMike (May 29, 2004)

Hey all,

I'm intersted to hear what movie you think has the best quotes, or has the most great quotes that withstand or will withstand the ages.

Mine is my all time favorite movie: Casablanca

Ugarte: You know, Rick, I have many a friend in Casablanca, but somehow, just because you despise me, you are the only one I trust.

Captain Renault: Carl, see that Major Strasser gets a good table, one close to the ladies. 
Carl: I have already given him the best, knowing he is German and would take it anyway.

Ugarte: You despise me, don't you? 
Rick: If I gave you any thought I probably would.

Rick: You know what I want to hear. 
Sam: [lying] No, I don't. 
Rick: You played it for her, you can play it for me! 
Sam: [lying] Well, I don't think I can remember... 
Rick: If she can stand it, I can! Play it!

(the infamous and most misquoted "Play it again Sam" quote)

Rick: Here's looking at you, kid.

Rick: How can you close me up? On what grounds? 
Captain Renault: I'm shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here! 
[A croupier hands Renault a pile of money] 
Croupier: Your winnings, sir. 
Captain Renault: [sotto voce] Oh, thank you very much. 
[aloud] 
Captain Renault: Everybody out at once!

Rick: Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.

Ilsa: Kiss me. Kiss me as if it were the last time.

And, of course. . .

Captain Renault: Realizing the importance of the case, my men are rounding up twice the usual number of suspects

Sorry for so many quotes, I just love this movie


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## Cyclone (Jul 1, 2002)

Star Wars: Here goes nothing

Star Wars: I've got a bad feeling about this.


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## leestoo (Mar 23, 2002)

Shawkshank Redemption: Get busy living or get busy dying


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## dfergie (Feb 28, 2003)

Terminator 2: I'll be back
Terminator 3: She'll be back


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## Steve Mehs (Mar 21, 2002)

There are many memorable movie and TV quotes I remember, but here's my top 5, in no particular order.

"Damn, what a rush" Broken Arrow

"You just activated a nuclear warhead, my friend" Broken Arrow 

"Where as once I was blind now I can see" The Game 

"A good conspiracy is one that can’t be proven" Conspiracy Theory

"I do wish we could chat longer, but I'm having an old friend for dinner" Silence of the Lambs


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## HappyGoLucky (Jan 11, 2004)

"Steel Magnolias" had some wonderful lines:

Ouiser Boudreaux: I do not see plays, because I can nap at home for free. And I don't see movies 'cause they're trash, and they got nothin' but naked people in 'em! And I don't read books, 'cause if they're any good, they're gonna make 'em into a miniseries.

Clairee Belcher: All gay men have track lightin'. And all gay men are named Mark, Rick, or Steve.

Clairee Belcher: Well, you know what they say: if you don't have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me! 

Truvy: Oh, Sammy's so confused he don't know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt.

Ouiser Boudreaux: I'm not crazy, I've just been a very bad mood for the last 40 years!

Clairee Belcher: The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize.

Ouiser Boudreaux: I'm pleasant. Damn it! I saw Drum Eatenton at the Piggly Wiggly this morning, and I smiled at the son of a ***** 'fore I could help myself.

Clairee Belcher: Ouiser could never stay mad at me; she worships the quicksand I walk on.


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## HappyGoLucky (Jan 11, 2004)

From "Aliens" -- Ripley: Get away from her, you *****!

From "Bewitched Bunny" -- Bugs Bunny: Aren't you ashamed of yourself, roastin' children!
Witch Hazel: Call it a weakness.

From "Female Trouble" -- Dawn Davenport: I've DONE everything a mother can do: I've locked her in her room, I've beat her with the car aerial. Nothing changes her. It's HARD being a loving mother!

From "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" -- Grace: Oh, he's very popular Ed. The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, waistoids, dweebies, dickheads - they all adore him. They think he's a righteous dude. 

From "The Full Monty" -- Dave: Anti-wrinkle cream there may be, but anti-fat-******* cream there is not.

From "The Women" -- Crystal Allen: There's a name for you ladies, but it isn't used in high society, outside of a kennel.

Woman in beauty salon: (gasp) Good grief! I hate to tell you, dear, but your skin makes the Rocky Mountains look like chiffon velvet! 

Crystal Allen: He almost stood me up for his wife.


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## HappyGoLucky (Jan 11, 2004)

All of the movies based on Agatha Christie novels had some fabulous lines...

Lola Brewster: You seem lovely, as always. Of course, there are fewer lights on than usual. In fact, any fewer, and I'd need a seeing-eye dog.
Marina Rudd: Oh, I shouldn't bother to buy one, dear. In that wig, you could play Lassie.
Lola Brewster: Same adorable sense of humor. And I'm so glad to see that you've not only kept your GORGEOUS figure, but you've added SO MUCH to it!
Marina Rudd: What are you doing here so early, dear? I thought the plastic surgery seminar was in Switzerland.
Lola Brewster: Actually, darling, I couldn't wait to begin our little movie. You know the saying: once an actress, always an actress.
Marina Rudd: Oh, I do know the saying. But what does it have to do with you?
Lola Brewster: Cute angel. So do tell. How does it feel to be back, after being away SO LONG?
Lola Brewster: Chin up, darling... both of them.

Marina Rudd: Lola, dear, you know, there are really only two things I dislike about you.
Lola Brewster: Really? What are they?
Marina Rudd: Your face.

Marina Rudd: [to Lola Brewster] What are you supposed to be, a birthday cake? Too bad everybody's HAD a piece.

Lola Brewster: I could eat a can of Kodak and puke a better movie.


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## Steveox (Apr 21, 2004)

Ah-ah, I know what you're thinking. Did he fire six shots or only five? Well to tell you the truth in all this excitement I've kind of lost track myself. But being this is a .44 Magnum - the most powerful hand gun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question, do I feel lucky. Well, do ya punk?"

Listen, punk. To me you're nothin' but dog****, you understand? And a lot of things can happen to dog****. It can be scraped up with a shovel off the ground. It can dry up and blow away in the wind. Or it can be stepped on and squashed. So take my advice and be careful where the dog ****s ya!

Go ahead, make my day.


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## SAEMike (May 29, 2004)

Steveox said:


> Ah-ah, I know what you're thinking. Did he fire six shots or only five? Well to tell you the truth in all this excitement I've kind of lost track myself. But being this is a .44 Magnum - the most powerful hand gun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question, do I feel lucky. Well, do ya punk?"
> 
> Listen, punk. To me you're nothin' but dog****, you understand? And a lot of things can happen to dog****. It can be scraped up with a shovel off the ground. It can dry up and blow away in the wind. Or it can be stepped on and squashed. So take my advice and be careful where the dog ****s ya!
> 
> Go ahead, make my day.


One of the best ever! :righton:


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## HappyGoLucky (Jan 11, 2004)

*NOTE: some of these are a bit risque, so if you're easily offended, move on.*​
*"Young Frankenstein":*

_[Frankenstein, Igor and Inga in front of HUGE castle doors]_
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: What knockers.
Inga: Oh, thank you doctor. ​_[After sex with The Monster]_
Elizabeth: Oh. Where you going?... Oh, you men are all alike. Seven or eight quick ones and then you're out with the boys to boast and brag. YOU BETTER KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. Oh... I think I love him.​
*"Blazing Saddles":*

Hedley Lamarr: My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.
Taggart: God darnit Mr. Lamarr, you use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore.​
Jim: You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons.​
_[Bart on grandstand to the townspeople]_
Bart: Excuse me while I whip this out.
_[Bart reaches into waistline as crowd gasps and screams. Bart pulls out paper]_
Crowd: Ahhhhh.​
Taggart: I got it.
Hedley Lamarr: What?
Taggart: Let's kill every first born male child in Rock Ridge.
Hedley Lamarr: Nah, too Jewish.​
*"History of the World, Part 1":*

Count de Monet: Don't get saucy with me, Bernaise.​
Oedipus:_ [walking around collecting donations]_ Give to Oedipus! Give to Oedipus! Hey Josephus!
Josephus: Hey, motherf**ker!​
Marcus Vindictus: What bait must I use to catch your love? I am your servant.
Empress Nympho: Ah, but the servant waits, while the master baits.​
Comicus: The only thing we don't have a god for is premature ejaculation - but I hear that that's coming quickly.​
Bearnaise: I don't like your cuffs!... I don't like your cuffs! I don't like your cuffs! A man's cuffs should be even with the tip of his 'pee-pee'. Yours are all the way down to your balls!
Count de Monet: At least I have them!
Bearnaise: *****!​
*"Scary Movie 2":*

Father McFeely: How is she?
Mrs. Voorhees: It's gotten worse Father. She won't eat. She won't talk to me. The child won't let me touch her.
Father McFeely: Yes, sometimes you have to give them candy, first.​
Father Harris: And thank you God, for voting off that unholy ***** Gerri from Survivor!​
*"Scary Movie":*

_[after hitting a fisherman crossing the road]_
Cindy Campbell: We have to call the police!
Ray: No way! I ain't going to jail!
Greg: He's right! Cindy, do you know what they do to teens in jail? All of those sex-starved convicts waiting for a fresh piece of meat?
Ray: Hey, Cindy's right. Maybe we should call the police.​
Heather: The First Amendment gives us the right to say what we want.
Teacher: Oh, shut the f*ck up.​
Bobby: That girl, Drew Decker, got killed last night.
Ray: Hey, I think I knew her. She had a brother, Steve. Long hair, pretty little blonde, perfect ass.
Bobby: That was her!
Ray: No, I was talking about her brother, Steve.​
Deputy Doofy: Mom said that when I wear this badge you're supposed to treat me like a man of the law.
Buffy Gilmore: Yeah, and Mom also told you not to stick your d*ck in the vacuum cleaner!​
Ray: What you talking about? I ain't gay!
Bobby: But you took me to that club.
Ray: They have great music there.
Bobby: Our trip to San Francisco.
Ray: I wanted to shop.
Bobby: But you made love to me!
Ray: Nah, you s*cked my d*ck and that's it!​
Black TV Reporter: Reporting live for Black TV! White folks are dead, we're getting the f*ck out of here!​
Gail Hailstorm: You're drooling a little.
Deputy Doofy: Sorry, sometimes I forget to swallow.
Gail Hailstorm: I never forget to swallow.​


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## Five Hole (Jun 23, 2002)

Airplane:

Striker : Surely you can't be serious?
Rumack : I am serious, and don't call me Shirley!

Oever : You ever . . . seen a grown man naked ?
Oever : Joey, did ya ever hang around a gymnasium?
Oever : Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?
Oever : Joey . . . have you ever been in a, a Turkish prison?


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## cooper (Jan 16, 2003)

Wierd Science: Chett: "Do you realise it is snowing in my room, G*damnit"
Chett: "Well I didn't think it was a whale's d*ck, honey"

A Few Good Men: Jack: "We live in a world that has walls. Those walls need to be guarded by men with guns. Whose gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Caffey? I have a greater responsibility then you could possibly fathom."


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## Tusk (Nov 14, 2002)

*Spaceballs*

Dark Helmet: What's the matter with this thing? What's with all that churning and bubbling? You call that a Radar Screen? 
Colonel Sandurz: No sir, we call it Mr. Coffee. Care for some? 
Dark Helmet: I always have coffee when I watch radar, you know that!

Dark Helmet: I bet she gives great helmet. 

Colonel Sandurz: That's much too early. Prepare to fast-forward! 
Video Operator: Preparing to fast-forward! 
Colonel Sandurz: Fast-forward! 
Video Operator: Fast-forwarding, sir! 

Dark Helmet: Say goodbye to your two best friends, and I don't mean your pals in the winnebago.

Dark Helmet: Stop this thing!
Colonel Sandurz: We can't stop sir. We have to slow down first.
Dark Helmet: Bull****, stop this thing now!
_(stopped)_
Colonel Sandurz: What shall we do now, Sir? 
Dark Helmet: Well, are we stopped? 
Colonel Sandurz: We're stopped, Sir. 
Dark Helmet: Good. Well, why don't we take a five minute break? 
Colonel Sandurz: Very good, Sir. 
Dark Helmet: Smoke if you got'em.


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